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My Daughter Talks Back to Me—and I Encourage It
I was raised by two civil rights activists, one of whom was born in the ’30s in the Deep South, the other raised in Newark, N.J. It goes without saying that the very idea of “talking back” was unheard of in my household. We couldn’t even look back, much less talk back. So why does…
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The Time When The Color Purple Became an Iconic Black Film
In the canon of black films, The Color Purple—released Dec. 18, 1985—will always have a space in the top 10. Based on the novel by Alice Walker and directed by Steven Spielberg, the film—lusciously shot and performed with an aching realness by an all-star cast—was heralded immediately as one of the most nuanced portrayals of…
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I Never Tell My Daughter She’s Beautiful, and I Want Others to Stop Saying It, Too
First things first. This column is not about how beautiful my daughter Emmy is. This is not about oh-my-goodness-please-stop-noticing-my-daughter’s-model-like-breathtaking-beauty. Emmy’s cute. Like every other 8-year-old girl in her class—and beyond. My concern is this. Often, when we are out and we see my friends, neighbors or co-workers, and they meet Emmy for the first time,…
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Remember When T-Pain Made Auto-Tune a Thing?
Let’s get the album title out of the way first. T-Pain indeed started out as a rapper. His hip-hop cover of Akon’s hit single “Locked Up” led to a record deal. But T-Pain decided to transition to singing in lieu of rapping, hence the name of the album, which was released a decade ago on…
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My 8-Year-Old’s Tuition Is More Expensive Than a Year at Most Colleges. We Can’t Afford It. But We Still Pay It
I can’t bring myself to watch any show that features Suze Orman, the financial guru. Why? Orman often does a segment where people tell her about something they want to buy, and she asks questions about their finances and decides if they can afford it. So, for example, someone may call in and say they…
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My 8-Year-Old Knows Everything About Sex and Procreation. Is She Too Young for That Information?
Two years ago, when Emmy was 6, she spent the day with her aunt and cousin. When I came to pick her up, she had her nose deep in a book. Emmy has always loved to read, and I can’t count how many times she’s discovered a book at a friend’s house that she then…
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Remembering When ’90s Hip-Hop Beefs Turned Fatal
In 1994, Tupac Shakur was famously shot several times while entering New York City’s Quad Recording Studios. While he would survive that shooting and wouldn’t be killed until two years later, the Quad Studios shooting ratcheted up the so-called East Coast vs. West Coast rap wars of the ’90s. By the time Tupac had recovered,…
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People Say My Daughter Is ‘Too Grown.’ I Think That Idea Is Detrimental to Black Girls—and Boys
“Are those your earrings Emmy is wearing?” I ran into a neighbor recently while running errands with my daughter Emmy. As we were chatting, she did a double take at Emmy’s medium-sized hoop earrings. “No,” I said, steeling myself for yet another scolding about my parenting choices. “Those are Emmy’s earrings.” “Oh, she’s grown,” my…
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That Moment We Realized That Coolio Was Serious About Those Braids
I have to admit, I rolled my eyes when I discovered that this week was the anniversary of Coolio’s sophomore album, Gangsta’s Paradise. Coolio? With the crazy braids? (Unlike most old-school trends, Coolio’s braids looked (almost) as ridiculous then as they do now). From what I could remember, Coolio was just that rapper with that…
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My 8-Year-Old Decides What She Will Eat—and I Think That’s the Best Way to Go
One evening, when I was 7 years old, my mother served peas for dinner. I hated peas with a passion. I ate everything else on my plate and then stared at the peas for a good 20 minutes. My mom made it clear that eating the peas was nonnegotiable. I slipped a few onto my…
