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Tinashe’s Aquarius, Is…Surprisingly Good
After a handful of friends insisted that I give Tinashe’s new album, Aquarius, a chance, I pressed play on Spotify while writing last night. I wanted to see what the fuck all the fuss was about. I hadn’t paid much attention to her, beyond her lead single, “2 On,” which I paid attention to solely…
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Growing To Appreciate Steve Harvey’s Shuckey Jivey Charm On Family Feud
I like to pretend that, after Steve Hightower went the way of Judy Winslow, Steve Harvey went to live in a cave with post-Emancipation of Mimi Mariah Carey, only to reemerge as the shucky jivey host of Family Feud back 2010. In a perfect world, nothing else—not the Cedric The Entertainer co-signing and certainly not…
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Musiq Soulchild Is A Rapper Now And I'm Annoyed
The artist formerly known as Musiq Soulchild is now an Atlanta-based rapsinger who refers to his former self in the third person. I know. I’m annoyed already, too. Mr. 143 is no more (for now?). The artist formerly known as Taalib Johnson and Musiq Soulchild is now to be known as…. …wait for it… The…
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I'm 29 Years Old, And I Just Moved Back Home With My Parents
I have been here in Hampton, Virginia, with my entire damn family for about a month. My goal here is to get my mind, body, and bank account back on track while competing for the title of America’s Next Top Mama’s Boy. My sister, nieces, the children of countless family friends and I all grew…
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True Confession: I'm Just Now Watching 'The Wire' For The First Time
Last week while drowning in free time, I said to myself, “Self, you’re eating good, rubbing booties, and maxin’ and relaxin’ con la familia here in Virginia, where ain’t shit to do but cook (and gain weight). Why not finally give The Wire a go?” And so here we are. I feel like I missed…
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On Returning To America After Life In Panama
I just moved back to the States after roughly two-and-a-half years in Panama City. I spent my time there teaching Business English, dance, and fitness classes, as well as becoming fluent in Spanish. I also consumed enough calories to put your most bisonly uncle to shame and learned about my family’s Panamanian/Jamaican roots. It was…
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An Ode To Felicia A. O'Dell And All The Black Dramatics We Love
Hi. My name is Alex and watching Soul Train clips on YouTube is one of my favorite procrastination methods. I wish I could jump in the Magic School Bus and heel-toe back to a time when Black and Black-loving America gathered ‘round on Saturday mornings to witness well dressed Black people, jamming on the motherfucking…
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Watching "Tha Crossroads” As An Adult
I used to rock with Bone Thugs N Harmony. I generally enjoyed bopping and inventing words to a handful of Bone Thugs songs and even copped the “Look Into My Eyes” maxi single. In fact, I learned Biggie’s verse on “Notorious Thugs” in the seventh grade to impress a girl, and well, you see how…
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The Cold War Between Straight Black Women And Gay Black Men
A Facebook friend recently sent me this video. Another distraction from all this pretending to write, thought I. Now, unlike the cats-are-assholes videos and clips of happy, dancing Black babies that occupy way too damn much of my day, this video prompted a big ol’ screwface. Ten seconds into the clip, I rolled my eyes…
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Meet Diane Stretton: Thug Nanny
You see that jovial and inviting grandmotherly grin? Doesn’t she look pleasant, like someone who smells of Icy/Hot and ginger snaps? Doesn’t she look like a sweet person you would perhaps smile warmly at as she grandmotheringly cuts you a big chunk of Wal-Mart lemon pound cake and serves you hot chocolate down pon de…
