Y’all’s president is one vacationing-ass bitch. It hasn’t even been a smooth full month into Tropicana Jong-il’s four-year term (insert laugh track here), and the man has taken every weekend off. To his credit, much like his racism, his xenophobia, his sexism, his narcissism, his creepy obsession with his daughter and his insecurities, 45 has not been shy about sharing his laziness with the world.
Shortly after winning the 2016 presidential election on a gross technicality, the “failing New York Times” reported that he was “talking with his advisers about how many nights a week he will spend in the White House.” Apparently, he “told them he would like to do what he is used to, which is spending time in New York when he can.”
Days before being sworn into office, 45 did an interview with The Times of London in which he revealed that his real first day being president would not be on Jan. 20, a Friday, the day he officially became president, but, you know, after the weekend wrapped up.
“I mean, my day one is gonna be Monday because I don’t want to be signing and get it mixed up with lots of celebration,” he explained.
You are sworn in as the president of the United States of America, the most powerful nation on earth, on a Friday, but you don’t consider your first real day of work until the following Monday “cause you like to party-y-y-y-y-y-y.”
Since then, 45 has retreated to his Mar-a-Lago resort in Florida, which he has purposely christened his “Winter White House” because he’s all about the “mu-mu-muny, yen and the pesos.” Speaking of, these little weekend excursions are costing taxpayers a whole lot of money. The Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Department has reportedly already succumbed to $1.5 million in overtime costs in handling 45’s frequent trips back to Florida.
I’m very confident that we’re going to get reimbursed. There’ll be a point in time where I’ll have a conversation, I hope, with the president personally or with someone high up in his administration.
Sis, you’re not getting that money back.
As we’ve recently learned, there’s a bit of a problem with this beyond the sheer trifling ways of a slothful old man who scammed his way into the White House.
While having dinner with Japanese Prime Minister Shinzō Abe on Feb. 11, news broke that North Korea had launched a nuclear missile. Instead of scurrying away to some secure location, 45 stayed in his very public area to handle the matter—and the nitwits around him pulled out their cellphones to light up classified documents. All of this happened with Mar-a-Lago guests directly in front of them, gleefully snapping pictures of what was happening.
Other pictures include Richard DeAgazio—a retired investor and Mar-a-Lago member—posting a picture with the man who carries the “atomic football.” You know, that briefcase that contains the nuclear codes. Yes, Richard was out here posting pictures of “Rick” on Facebook as if we couldn’t all die from his social media stunting.
Can you imagine if any of this happened under President Barack Obama? Like, imagine Obama, mere weeks into his presidency, saying that he was going to fly back to Chicago every weekend because he needed Harold’s Chicken and real winters. The same goes for a President Hillary Clinton. Let her have taken a nap for 36 minutes anywhere else besides the White House on a Sunday and all hell would have broken loose.
Yet 45 gets to take trips back to his private business because it makes him more comfortable (and also helps him inflate membership prices for Mar-a-Lago).
That said, this big orange waste of the gift of life is lazy in the White House, too.
The barrage of meet-and-greets suits Trump’s operating style, aides said. He’s not a delve-into-a-briefing-book kind of commander in chief. Instead, he learns by peppering people with questions and prefers to pluck opinions from a rotating cast.
But the dinners also ensure the president is engaged well into the evening, allotting less time for some of Trump’s less productive pursuits—gobbling up cable news and engaging in Twitter wars.
Nonetheless, if he’s going to be lazy wherever he goes, can he at least do it at the White House?
In “President Trump Has Almost Done Nothing,” Politico’s Zachary Karabell explains how very little work, beyond the illusion of him signing various executive orders, the current commander in chief has done thus far. Karabell concludes:
Trump poses a challenge to decades of tradition and precedent. He is masterful [at] conflating words and actions in a way that enrages and alarms his opponents and exhilarates and excites his supporters. It’s more important than ever to distinguish what is from what isn’t. Understanding the difference between what this president says and what he does is one of the only things that will keep our public debate from plunging ever deeper into the hall of mirrors.
All of this is true, though I think in the immediate, narratives matter. We already have to contend with the fact that a stupid man with no political experience managed to become president for no other reason than that he appealed to fears of a black man and potentially of a white woman seizing power, and the overall shifting of a multicultural America—well, also because he had the help of Russian foreign intelligence and a media industry that cared more about the profit margin associated with a shit show than with its real consequences.
A lot of the reporting that various outlets, such as the New York Times and the Washington Post, are doing may ultimately bring this administration down, but in all likelihood, that will take some time. At the very least, though, wider attention could be brought to certain realities: 1) This man is not very interested in being president other than in the title; 2) He is taking advantage of U.S. taxpayers by going to the resort he owns every single weekend; and, most important, 3) He is a lazy piece of shit.
Former President George W. Bush took many vacations during his time in office, and though it was mentioned every so often, that fact was never hung around his neck the way it should have been. No. 45 is on pace to outpace him in taking time off while running the government. At the very least, more people can call him out for the lazy president he is.
President Obama would never have gotten away with this. And based on the false equivalences of Clinton’s email server and all of 45’s lengthy list of transgressions, she would not have been let off the hook for leaving the White House each weekend.
To quote Janet Jackson from the terrible movie Why Did I Get Married Too?: “Fix it! Fix it! Fix it!”