Lizzie Dunn (CBS New York YouTube screenshot)

A poor, defenseless lady suffered horrific facial injuries when someone sprayed her face with acid during a brutal attack. Law enforcement officers immediately began the manhunt for the suspect, described by the victim as a black woman in her mid-40s. When police ultimately apprehended the suspect, the culprit turned out to be very familiar:

It turns out the lying-ass woman had done it to herself.

According to the New York Daily News, on Monday, Jan. 8, Lizzie Dunn said that she was walking down the street in the Arden Heights neighborhood of Staten Island, a New York City borough, when a black woman approached her asking for a cigarette.

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(This was Dunn’s first mistake in her fairy tale. No black woman asks a white woman for a cigarette because more than likely, the white woman is going to pull out a Virginia Slims, a Pall Mall or some unseasoned brand of tobacco. Plus, black women don’t usually trust the cleanliness of white women’s mouths. But I digress ... )

When Dunn said no, the mysterious black woman asked Dunn for money. Again, Dunn declined. Then the black woman spun her around and threw acid in her face and disappeared into the ether. (This invisible black attacker didn’t grab Dunn’s purse and rifle through it for Diet Marlboro Reds or loose change? Seems suspicious.)

Dunn stumbled into a nearby deli and frantically begged employees to call 911. After she arrived at the hospital, Dunn informed all the local news outlets of the attacker on the loose, even providing them with photos of the damage to her beautiful, porcelain skin now scarred from acid.

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But when police began looking into the crime, they found out that it was all a hoax. Investigators determined that Dunn’s injuries were self-inflicted and she had done this kind of thing before. When police announced that the victim had fabricated the attack, people were not amused.

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But wait, there’s more!

It turns out that Lizzie Dunn has ... wait for it ...

Black children!

According to numerous Facebook posts by a woman who says she is one of Dunn’s children, it turns out that Dunn and her adult children are sticking with the story that she was attacked by a black woman and at least one of them, Lianna Pierre, has vowed that she no longer believes in race.

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Pierre, who says that she has four multiracial children of her own, is calling upon reputable journalists like YouTube sensation Phil DeFranco and truth tellers like Tariq Nasheed to expose the truth of the Lizzie Dunn conspiracy theory.

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In the spirit of truth, we could not confirm that police showed pictures of Dunn’s face and someone remarked, “Nah, she wan’t attacked. That bee itch was ugly last month, too!” There is also no truth to the rumor that NYPD officers asked, “So we don’t get to shoot a black woman today?”

Read more at the New York Daily News.