Conversations about “down-low” men — ones who are actively lying about their sexuality — aren’t new….but it seems the urgency has changed of late. When Tamar Braxton sent a cautionary notice to her fans to get on PrEP, a medicine designed to prevent against HIV contraction — it flew over folks’ heads at first.
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But once a TikTok creator began posting about how to “spot a DL man,” the floodgates busted wide open. Timelines were suddenly flooded with discussions about trust, sexuality, and men living “double lives.” You might want to sit up for this one — we’ve got plenty to cover.
We know Braxton is good at catching us off guard with her theatrical behavior. Still, when she posted an Instagram video with the caption, “I’m on pRep…outside is crazy,” it raised eyebrows among her followers.
We know it seems dramatic, but her posts addressed a lingering fear in the dating world, especially among Black women.
“Y’all are dating the same dude,” the “Calling All Lovers” singer said. “All y’all are sharing the same dude.” She even broke into the R&B classic “Saturday Love” by Cherrelle, joking about how men are rotating women throughout the seven days of the week.
Braxton claimed that some women are signing NDAs to keep quiet about being involved with the same man, adding, “I ain’t sharing my man with the streets,” she added.
Reactions started to fill up the comments, validating Braxton’s concern. One TikTok user wrote, “I literally just saw a black OB/GYN a few days ago on TikTok disclose how significantly HIV cases are rising among Black women and suggested we take precautions with PrEP so I’m with you Tamar.” \
Another user insisted, “PreP should definitely be in the conversation in the black community!”
These concerns are justifiable since, culturally, Black men are punished for exploring their sexuality outside of heterosexual norms. While that fear resonates in men, Black women seem to be in the middle of the burden. The statistics on HIV are pretty alarming.
According to KFF.org, Black women in the U.S. account for 50% of new HIV diagnoses among women, despite representing only 13% of the female population. Even more alarming, 83% of new HIV cases among women are attributed to heterosexual interactions.
Echoing Braxton’s concern, more women are slowly turning to PrEP as a preventative measure. According to AIDSVu, PrEP use in the U.S. increased by 17% between 2023 and 2024. Still, only about 9% of PrEP users in 2024 were women, showing that this conversation is long overdue.
But let’s be real: not everyone is going to be forthcoming about their sexual history, and some men aren’t honest about their behavior – including living on the downlow. PrEP is going to offer women the peace of mind when honesty isn’t offered.
Though Braxton’s warning served as an opening shot, the conversation truly exploded thanks to @checkoutjon, a TikTok creator whose posting spree on exposing “DL men” has thrown our timelines into complete chaos. In a now viral video, Jon, a self-proclaimed “DL” man who claims to have slept with 1,000 people, offered crucial pointers in spotting these men.
He was dropping gems for women. He advised viewers to watch for the ratio of men’s followers (male vs. female) and to be cautious of the one male best friend who dislikes the girlfriend, suggesting they may be more than friends. Whew, it’s tea!
The reactions from women sharing their experiences were eye-opening:
“When they don’t like women and treat them like sh*t, but they are supposed to be attracted to women?? WEIRD!” one TikTok wrote. “Red flag!” the creator responded.
Another shared, “Yes, when he prefers spending time with his ‘homeboys’ over you, he’s ‘DL.’ When he’s quiet and bored at a restaurant with you, but becomes the life of the party once the boys show up, he’s DL.”
Straight From 
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