We Need to Talk About Sammy Sosa’s Face

Former Chicago Cubs slugger Sammy Sosa did an interview recently, and I don’t think anyone heard a word he said because Sosa now looks like a chewed eraser. I don’t know what happened to him or who hurt Sosa, but the onetime Cubs great—minus the steroid-use allegations that followed him through the end of his career—has apparently allowed his self-hate to manifest all over his face.

Here’s a photo of Sosa and Sharon Osbourne taken in 2003:

Here’s an image of Sosa during his facial transformation:

Here’s a photo of Sosa shortly after the first phase of racial hatred:

And now, here he is looking like a weathered cow tongue:

I only ask that Black Jesus ignore me should this be a skin condition, but it appears that Sosa is suffering from the same disease that has afflicted Lil’ Kim.

Of course the internet has jokes; here are a few of my favorites:

Please make this make sense.