Former Chicago Cubs slugger Sammy Sosa did an interview recently, and I don’t think anyone heard a word he said because Sosa now looks like a chewed eraser. I don’t know what happened to him or who hurt Sosa, but the onetime Cubs great—minus the steroid-use allegations that followed him through the end of his career—has apparently allowed his self-hate to manifest all over his face.
Here’s a photo of Sosa and Sharon Osbourne taken in 2003:
Here’s an image of Sosa during his facial transformation:
Here’s a photo of Sosa shortly after the first phase of racial hatred:
And now, here he is looking like a weathered cow tongue:
I only ask that Black Jesus ignore me should this be a skin condition, but it appears that Sosa is suffering from the same disease that has afflicted Lil’ Kim.
Of course the internet has jokes; here are a few of my favorites:
Please make this make sense.
DISCUSSION
Do you...do you think he is that color all over? Like, I wonder if he did just enough to pass as whatever it is he is going for and changed his face, neck, hands and feet, but his core is still covered in brown shame? And even if he did go all the way do you think he bleached...down there, you know, the dangly bits?