The Washington Football Team Could Be Announcing Its New Name Very Soon

After 87 years of brazen racial insensitivity, the Washington Football Team finally bid adieu to its previous racist-ass name (that doesn’t bear repeating) in 2020. And in the 13 months since, the team has struggled to select a replacement since apparently the Guardians was taken. But Washington’s awkward tenure as the only team in the NFL without an official name could be drawing to a close soon, as CBS Sports reports that the franchise has now widdled its search down to three names.

Video will return here when scrolled back into view

Trump’s Tariffs Might Stick Around. What Should We Buy Now?

view video

Trump’s Tariffs Might Stick Around. What Should We Buy Now?

Per CBS Sports, the announcement was made on the latest episode of Washingon’s YouTube series Making the Brand:

The three-minute episode opens with team president Jason Wright showing the names to Washington coach Ron Rivera. At the end of the episode, Wright lists the three finalists for the team’s new name, although we don’t actually get to learn the names of the finalists due to some clever editing (But they did potentially give us some clues!).

“So the three that we’ll go through are: [beeped out], [beeped out] and [beeped out],” Wright says in the video.

Rivera then responded by saying that he “really liked” one of the names, but once again, we don’t know the actual name because it was bleeped out. The Washington Post confirmed with the team that it has narrowed the list of potential team names down to three.

So what might those names be? The Artists Formerly Known as the Washington Racial Slurs? The Washington Chuck Browns? The Washington Mumbo Sauce with Fries?

Nope.

In the video, the team invites fans to FedEx Field and asks for their input on a handful of names under serious consideration. What might those names be? I’m glad you asked.

Armada

Brigade

Commanders

Defenders

Presidents

RedHogs

RedWolves

Washington Football Team

Not exactly the sexiest of options—I personally would go with the Washington Brunch Champions of the Universe as a proper ode to the city that introduced me to the concept of burlesque brunch—but at least blatantly racist monickers are no longer in play, as the Washington Jigaboos or the Washington Moon Crickets didn’t make the cut.

In the interest of fairness, these remaining names could also be red herrings. I guess we’ll have to wait and see what they decide, but in the interim, it’s always fun to speculate.