Why The Internet Knows Diddy’s ‘Apology’ is Trash

Remember when we got into any trouble as kids and our parents snatched us up and forced us to apologize to our purported victims? For most of us, the “apology” was the most bone-deep insincere thing we could muster – even saying “I’m sorry” felt like vomiting acetone.

It’s a questionable yet enduring childhood mainstay – adults forcing mea culpas out of kids that they deliver only to avoid getting their asses tapped. This is what Diddy’s video apology for the viral video of attacking then-girlfriend Cassie Ventura in a hotel feels like: A forced thing he dropped on the world not because he’s actually penitent toward Cassie, but because he wants to avoid that collective ass-whippin’ from the public, his business partners and everyone else justifiably horrified at the video.

Five seconds on the interwebs will demonstrate how spectacularly the apology failed.

Though he likely played a background role in King Combs’ worse “diss track” ever created, Diddy has mostly exercised the option of shutting the f*** up through most of his protracted public execution since Cassie’s lawsuit last November. He probably would’ve stayed quiet had the vicissitude of stone-cold video evidence of his abuse not made him feel like he had to do or say something.

“I was f***d up at the time” seems like the populist thing to say – we all do things when f***ed up sometimes – but it doesn’t check out in a world in which he denied everything vehemently mere weeks ago. “I went to therapy” doesn’t check out for the same reasons; I would imagine any therapist worth the letters behind their name would discourage maintained public denial and victim blaming if they knew the truth.

(dragging him back into this mess without his consent) manipulating everyone into thinking that he’s alone facing a storm of criticism that he simply doesn’t deserve. He did so knowing not only that he’s a lying, deceitful piece of shit – which everyone else already knew considering he settled the Cassie lawsuit in less time than it takes a painted wall to cure — but that this 8-year-old tape exists.

Regardless of the amount of money Diddy allegedly paid to keep the tape hush-hush, all the support he’s sought from followers was predicated on his belief that it would never see the light of day. He hedged his bets on that and lost.

Of course, he’s nowhere near alone in the annals of famous men who hit the “Deny” button repeatedly until they could no longer. See Anthony Weiner, who denied extramarital sexting until…the actual texts dropped. Or former Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick, who played the dumb role regarding his affair with Chief of Staff Christine Beatty (among many other things) until their texts – exchanged on city-owned phones – made it to public eyes.

And who can forget when President Bill Clinton played in everyone’s faces while under oath about the relations with Monica Lewinsky that got him impeached?

With the exception of the former, each man knew there was traceable digital or video evidence of their transgressions, and still they not only failed to admit it but they often attacked their accuser publicly. When video, texts and the like denuded any notion of their innocence, only then were they “sorry.” Then they lean on therapy, God or anything else that appeals to the public’s sense of forgiveness.

They might be sorry for their actions, but not because they wronged another – because of how it impacted them. Like avoiding that ass-whipping from mama.

The torrent of accusations Diddy is facing is almost comical at this point, as the internet will have you believe that he was in a triple-decker sex sandwich with Usher, Meek Mill and Justin Bieber’s grandmama. But even in his unenviable situation of defending himself against all of it, he seems to have lost sight of the fact that he’s absolutely guilty of at least some of what’s being said about him. But self-preservation is the order of the day, and Diddy isn’t about to apologize for a damn thing he hasn’t been caught doing.

At this juncture, Diddy would’ve been better served having a private conversation with Cassie – the one person who deserves the apology that he felt the need to give to us all instead – and maybe putting a significant amount of his sizable wealth toward sexual assault prevention causes.

But his wealthy, entitled ass has no such foresight. So expect more hard evidence to drop against dude, and more tiki-hut apologies…because as they say…there’s never just one victim.