The 6 Kinds of Woke White People
Now that Democrats are fully aware that its general election success hinges on the black vote, the race for the party’s…
Son of Couple Charged in College Cheating Scandal Defends Parents While Smoking Blunt and Promoting Mixtape
Gregory and Marcia Abbott obviously didn’t believe their daughter had the intelligence or requisite flair to make it…
No Points for Guessing: Woman Attacked by Jaguar After Hopping Zoo Barrier
See that scary-ass black cat? That’s not a dry seal or some kind of deceptively cuddly anime character. That’s a damn…
The Definitive List of Get-Out-of-Racism Free Cards
Last night, during a run, I looked up and enjoyed the view. The stars sparkled against the backdrop of the cloudless…
What It Means When White People Call You Racist
The angriest I’ve ever been was when my cousin failed to show up after promising to give me a haircut on the day of my…
White People Are Getting Whiter
I recently decided to buy a new brand of mouthwash. Not because of any breath odor deficiencies that I’m aware of, but…
All-White Wisconsin GOP Decide Colin Kaepernick Is 'Too Controversial' to be Included in Black Caucus' Resolution to Honor Black History Month
A group of white Wisconsin Republicans have decided that former NFL quarterback Colin Kaepernick was too controversial…
Sounds About White: Colonizer 'Artist' Gentrifies African Desert With Whitest Song Ever
One day in the not-too-distant future, when the nearest star to our galaxy suddenly collapses, a group of…
Maybe We Should Stop Wishing We Could Do What the Worst White People Do
Although black people wanting to get away with the things that white people seem to be able to do will always leave a…
Crazy White People News Roundup: Swords, Shafts and Becky With the Bad Attitude
Every so often, for the sake of equal time, we find it useful to take our focus off of the negro-related news and see…
The 2019 List of Things Black People Are Too Ashamed to Talk About
You’ve seen them before.
Man Uses Time-Tested ‘A Black Man Did It’ Lie to Perpetrate
Amber Alert Hoax
A white Illinois man called the police and told them a black man had stolen his car with a baby inside. Spoiler alert:…
Pool Patrol Paula Pleads Guilty
The tartarsaucian who became known across the internet as “Pool Patrol Paula” has pleaded guilty to assault and battery…
Video: Kool-Aid, Lotion, Washcloths, Rihanna, and More Things We're Thankful For
While in town for The Root 100 several days ago, Panama and I were compelled to shoot a video articulating the many…
'What's Up With White People?' and 5 Other Questions Tonight's Election Will Answer
Contrary to popular belief, today’s election is not about Donald Trump. It has nothing to do with a “blue wave,” or red…
White Man Ignores Pesky Police Sirens to Get to Work on Time, Catches a Felony Instead of a Bullet
A white man in Columbus, Ind., was arrested after honking his horn at police—claiming the cops were slowing down his…
My Self-Care Sunday Story: I Called The Cops On A White Guy
Like most black people with a modicum of sense and a willingness to continue their streak of consecutive years lived, I…
White Evangelical Support of Trump Proves They’re More ‘White’ Than ‘Evangelical’
Although I attended a black church my entire life, I was ordained into the Southern Baptist Convention, an organization…
Make Mrs. America Great Again? Pageant Owner Accused of Racial Slurs and Bias
Well, we guess Mrs. America CEO and co-founder David Marmel won’t be voted Mr. Congeniality anytime soon.