On Monday, U.S. Attorney General Jeff Sessions, the biggest elf to ever do it, just created a âreligious liberty task force,â which sounds like a villainous superhero group that gets real close to you and asks if you know Jesus.
Every story surrounding Attorney General Jeff âKing Keeblerâ Sessions is an attempt to move the country further away from the fact that the man runs an operation that MAKES COOKIES IN A FUCKING TREE!
My next-door neighbor ran over a snake once, and that snake stayed in the middle of the street until it finally became a part of the road. For months I walked past this snake wondering if there was someone I could call about coming to pick it up. In the days of passing by said dead snake, my questions became moreâŚ
Around A.D. 49, the Roman emperor Claudius expelled the Jews from the city of Rome. Historians argue about the exact date and the reasons, but we know that Claudius did not want them holding office or bringing in more immigrants. Instead, he wrote that the Jews (pdf) âshould rest content with what belongs to them byâŚ
White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders is a mindless propaganda puppet, and U.S. Attorney General Jeff Sessionsâaka King Kleeber Klaus or KKK or Racist Santaâis a heartless demon who deals in racism and xenophobia. Both of them are trash individuals, and they proved that fact on Thursday when they bothâŚ
In what surely is a direct attack on immigrants from Central America, Attorney General Jeff Sessions on Monday reversed a ruling by an immigration court, making it more difficult for those who seek asylum here to claim fears of domestic abuse or gang violence as legitimate reasons to gain entry into the United States.
Attorney General Jeff Sessions has always been trash. He openly hates arguably the most peaceful herb of all herbs, and Martin Luther King Jr.âs widow openly despised his ass. Thatâs right: Coretta Scott King took time out of her busy day to pen a letter to block the 1986 nomination of Jeff Sessions for federal judgeâŚ
Last week while we were all debating whether it was Laurel or Yanny, watching white people calling the police on black people just because they can, and continuing to marvel at the comedy of errors that is the current presidential administration, the federal prisons director quietly resigned from his position becauseâŚ
U.S. Attorney General Jeff Sessions was quick to recuse himself from the Russia investigation. It is a decision that caused him to lose favor with Donald Trump, who famously said that he never would have appointed Sessions as attorney general if he had known the recusal was going to happen.
Donald Trump hates Jeff Sessions with a passion. Sessions thought he was going to be a Trump guy, coming out all early in support of Trump for president. He thought he was in for sure when Trump put him up for the U.S. attorney general job. He was probably like, âIâm in there!â
The Trump administration is continuing its tradition of speaking to crowds that are largely favorable to its policies. On Thursday, Attorney General Jeff âKing Keeblerâ Sessions spoke at the International Association of Chiefs of Police conference in Nashville, Tenn.
Donald Trump picked Jeff Sessions to be the attorney general of the United States, but he quickly turned on him when Sessions recused himself from the Russia investigation. Since that time, Trump has openly antagonized, insulted and bullied Sessions, both in conversation and on social media.
In news that would shock only an alien who just landed in the United States on his way to Pluto and was unfamiliar with the legacy of fuckboy shit that the Trump administration has pulled, the Department of Justice, headed by Jeff âKing Keeblerâ Sessions, has pursued fewer civil rights cases than previousâŚ
In September 2017, Attorney General Jeff Sessions decided that under his leadership, the U.S. Department of Justice would focus more on bolstering police morale than it would on correcting issues in problem police departments. To that end, the DOJ ended an effort put in place by the Obama administration to investigateâŚ
Attorney General Jeff Sessions was interviewed by special counsel Robert Mueller last week, making him the first member of Donald Trumpâs Cabinet to be questioned as part of the investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 presidential election.
Instead of focusing on much more important issues like the opioid crisis and the steady dismantling of American civil rights, U.S. Attorney General Jeff Sessions has turned his attention to battling against legalized marijuana. That pretend war will now see him in court as he goes up against a 12-year-old girl whoâŚ
Why was it so important to President Donald Trump to have Attorney General Jeff Sessions oversee the Russia investigation? It couldnât possibly be because the president of the United States and the overlord of Russia are secretly play cousins who spend the night over each otherâs house and make forts out of bedsheetsâŚ
The FBI created a 12-page document that ostensibly targets the Black Lives Matter movement titled, âBlack Identity Extremists Likely Motivated to Target Law Enforcement Officers.â It claims that the August 2014 shooting of Michael Brown in Ferguson, Mo., was the tipping point for widespread anger and violence. YetâŚ
On Monday, Rep. Karen Bass (D-Calif.) completely dismantled U.S. Attorney General Jeff Sessions as he testified before the House Judiciary Committee. Bass questioned why the FBI would be investigating and writing reports on âblack identity extremists,â labeling them as a threat against the police, but not writingâŚ
God bless Auntie Maxine Waters, who is truly doing the Lordâs work. On Friday, Waters waded down into the murky mess to take a jab at Attorney General Jeff Sessions, who might be the worst person in America not named Trump.
