trump tweets
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Twitter Permanently Suspends Donald Trump’s Account for Violating 'Glorification of Violence' Policy
Twitter announced Friday evening that it would permanently ban the account of President Donald Trump after continuing to use the platform to incite violence following the riot at the Capitol on Wednesday. The company released a blog post explaining what led to this course of action. They cited two tweets the president published on Friday…
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'Don't Ever Talk to the President That Way': #DiaperDon Almost Soils Himself Going Off on a Reporter on Thanksgiving
“Any man who must say ‘I am the king’ is no true king” – Tywin Lannister You can tell y’all’s soon to be ex-president is going through some thangs. On Thanksgiving—while the rest of us were either enjoying the festivities or quarantining and wishing this damn year was over already—the septuagenarian-toddler-in-chief was losing his shit…
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Trump Is So Obsessed With Being Loved That He’s Willing to Steal Praise He Didn’t Earn
I think it was his mother. It had to be. Someone in Trump’s family had to help make him this way. His father left him a fortune. So it had to be his mother. Maybe she didn’t hug him enough. Maybe she just got tired of his lies. Maybe she couldn’t stand him melting his…
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Obama Owns a Penthouse Loft in Trump’s Head as President Spends Mother’s Day Tweeting About Barack
Can you imagine being so amazing that years after you’ve left a job that you were completely over, your successor continues to bring up your name and does so even on Mother’s Day?! On Sunday, the president of people who buy large trampolines to place outside of their doublewides, spent part of his Sunday coming…
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Trump Spent Sunday Raging on Twitter Because America's Starting to Realize He’s a Clown
President Trump fucked up. During a press conference last week, the president of people who are now considering adding a little bleach to their smoothies was freestyling and going off-script, as he’s been known to do. Trump was standing at the lectern when he began wondering aloud about the potential of moving both light and…
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Michelle Obama Announces New ‘When We All Vote’ Initiative to Make Voting More Accessible Amid Pandemic
Michelle Obama stays bound and determined to forever hold a special place in our hearts, doesn’t she? As the coronavirus pandemic continues to turn daily activities into daunting tasks, the former first lady is doing the work in promoting When We All Vote’s new voting initiative aimed at making it easier for people to cast…
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The Chosen President Wishes Everyone a Happy Jesus' Death Day
The president of the United States—the one whom his believers link to Jesus, or, more modestly, God—just wished everyone a “HAPPY GOOD FRIDAY” because he’s not only a fake Christian, he doesn’t understand how any of this works. For those of us forced to wear church clothes on Sunday—I only had three kinds of clothes:…
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Utah Sen. Mitt Romney Tested Negative for Coronavirus, So Naturally the President Trolled Him on Twitter
It isn’t like the world is facing a global pandemic so devastating that Spain is currently using an ice skating rink to house dead bodies, so naturally, the president of the United States took time out of his busy day of applying “Pumpkin vomit,” as blush from Taylor Swift’s makeup line “Meh-o-naise,” to tweet his…
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Trump Didn’t Know People Died From the Flu. So Who Is Going to Tell Him How His Grandfather Died?
On Friday, while touring the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s headquarters in Atlanta—and this was only after his punk ass backed out of the trip when it was reported that a worker in the center may have tested positive for the virus—Donald Trump noted that he was shocked to hear that people died from…