If I were the proud owner of a vagina but had made the strategic error of allowing Donald Trump not only to be inside it but also to enter the premises without the protection of a condom, I would let that story go to my grave.

I don’t know what’s going on anymore. I’m now openly rooting for a porn actress (I think we use the term “star” too freely when talking about porn) to take down the presidency. And while I know that she won’t, it doesn’t mean I can’t be happy that she’s doing the Messy Lord’s work.