Deputy Managing Editor Yesha Callahan is gonna be mad at this short-ass lede, but today there’s no need to pussyfoot around. We all know why we’re here, so let’s address the elephant in the room.
Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas), aka “Grown-Up Eddie Munster,” posted a photo of himself at the Toyota Center on Monday night, where the Houston Rockets were set to take on the Golden State Warriors, and all Rockets fans knew it was downhill from there.
For years, Alabama has been a regressive state with little national influence, but President Donald Trump’s rise and the elevation of former Alabama Sen. Jeff Sessions to U.S. attorney general have changed everything. These regressive voices are now shaping national policy and have ensured that originalist justices…
I never thought that Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) and I had anything in common, and we still don’t, but old freak-ass Cruz has made himself more human by liking a porn video on Twitter.
Depending on whom you ask, Ted Cruz is about as likable as jock itch. In July, fellow Republican Sen. Dan Coats of Indiana said of his colleague, “He’s the most self-centered, narcissistic, pathological liar I’ve ever seen—and you can quote me on that.” Coats went on to tell IndyStar, “No matter how conservative you…
Ted Cruz is no longer running for president of the United States. Which is good, because Ted Cruz is also maybe — actually, definitely — a murderer. But bad because not being president will give him more time to murder people. Which is what he (probably) does when he's not running for office. Murder people.
