stimulus
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McConnell Believes Labor Shortage Will End When People Run Out of Stimulus Money
The Kentucky senator somehow assumes that American citizens have held on to economic payment money for three years.
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Nancy Pelosi and Mitch McConnell's Homes Vandalized By People Who Appear to Be Peeved At Tiny Stimulus Checks
The new year started for many of us with the long-debated $600 in stimulus money from the federal government landing in our bank accounts. It’s an appreciated return on our own taxes paid into the government’s coffers, and so I personally give thanks for it. But I also can’t deny that the amount was a…
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No One Would Let the Government Shutdown in a Pandemic. Republicans: Hold My Ensure
The government is at the risk of being shut down because, in the eleventh hour, some asshole senator from Fuckstick, Fuckville, has decided that it’s more important to him to screw over President-elect Joe Biden than it is to pass this shitty-ass package into law so that Americans can get some relief. Sen. Patrick J.…
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GTFOH Trump Watch: Why the $2,000 Trump Stimulus Check Is Bullshit
My homeboy Lavelle and I had this thing we did when a kid wanted to fight me and I didn’t want to fight. I would act like I was taking off my shirt and Lavelle knew that was his cue to jump in and act like he was breaking it up. I was rail-thin growing…
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Wealthy-Ass Purse: Cardi B and a Twitter Tale of Not Reading the Room
I know we’re all bored in the house and in the house bored, but perhaps more people—celebrities especially—should take up reading as a hobby. I hear there’s this awesome book called “The Room”—maybe celebs and other rich and powerful folks should start reading that! In this round of “you didn’t even scan the room, let…
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Stimuluses for Err'body: What Democrats Need to Do Should They Take Over Congress
There are unwritten rules in just about everything in life. In baseball, if a pitcher hits your guy with the ball, then once your team’s pitcher is up to the mound, it’s a must that you bean their opposing team’s batter. Doesn’t even matter if he had anything to do with it. He’s on his…
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Trump: Stimulus Talks Are Off Unless I Win! Also Trump: My Bad, Stimulus Talks are Back On
President Quid Pro Quo tried to hold America’s stimulus checks hostage because he’s a master negotiator, and by “master,” I mean mafia. The stable genius, who was quite possibly hopped up on COVID-19 medication, went on a full “Get off my lawn” Twitter-rant that called for the end of stimulus negotiations in Congress until he…
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Congress Is Still Arguing Over Another Stimulus Package. Just Run Us Our Money
For some reason, elected officials can’t seem to stop the hemming and hawing to produce a bill that doesn’t pad the rich and placate the poor during a fucking pandemic in which nearly half of the population is out of work. Way back in May, the Democratic-led House passed a relief bill that would’ve extended…
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God, Are You Listening? Senate Democrats Are Proposing $2,000 Monthly Payments
Kamala Harris may very well be the next vice president of America and she’s starting her silent bid to win the nomination off by winning the heart of Bernie Bros far and wide. On Friday, Sen. Harris (D-Calif.) along with Sens. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) and Ed Markey (D-Mass) “will release their Monthly Economic Crisis Support…
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Tyler Perry Presents a $21,000 Tip to Out-of-Work Restaurant Servers in Atlanta
Tyler Perry’s new BET+ show may be “Ruthless,” but his recent act of charity was the very opposite. According to TMZ, the entertainment mogul continued his Good Samaritan energy and left a $500 tip for each of the 42 out-of-work servers at a Houston’s restaurant in Atlanta on Sunday. Do the math—that’s $21,000 total! Apparently…