secret service
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How Much Would You Pay to Watch a Secret Service Agent Drag Trump Out of the White House?
My parents and I used to play a game where one of us would think of some ridiculous dare, assign an arbitrarily low price to it, and then would keep increasing the ask until a “Yes” happened. Mom, to me and Dad: Would you walk to Get n’ Go butt-ass naked for 100 bucks? Dad…
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At Least 130 of Trump's Secret Service Staff Have Coronavirus or Are Quarantining After Being Exposed
Even after being hospitalized for COVID-19, President Donald Trump and his senior staff didn’t appear to take concerns about spreading the virus seriously—continuing to campaign furiously while eschewing masks and hosting large indoor events. The possible fallout from those decisions: The Washington Post is now reporting that more than 130 Secret Service officers charged with…
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The White House Doesn’t Want You to Know How Much It Costs for Trump to Visit His Shitty Resorts Until After the 2020 Election
Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin-on-Trump’s-nuts just can’t stop pass-blocking for his boo. Besides denying a request by Congress to turn over Trump’s tax documents, he’s now trying to delay revealing how much the Trump family has spent on presidential travel until after the 2020 election and Russia uses Facebook to put Trump back into office. According…
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Somebody Spit on Eric Trump
Chicago police and the U.S. Secret Service detained a woman Tuesday evening on suspicion of second-degree loogie-hocking after the dumber of the Trump siblings reported that a bartender had extended the city’s traditional gesture of disapproval by spitting in Eric Trump’s stupid, stupid face. The Daily Beast reports that the Secret Service questioned an employee…
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Why Is Sarah Huckabee Sanders Reportedly Getting Secret Service Protection?
White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders has dominated the headlines this week after a restaurant owner in Lexington, Va., refused to serve her Friday night and asked her to leave. There are now reports that Sanders will receive special protection from the Secret Service. A law enforcement official told NBC News’ Pete Williams that…
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Donald Trump Jr. Gives Up His Secret Service Protection as Mueller’s Russia Investigation Intensifies
When you are the adult son of a sitting president, you are entitled to protection by the Secret Service for as long as your parent is in office. Donald Trump Jr., our president’s oldest son, has decided he no longer wants that protection, according to multiple reports published Monday evening. The younger Trump is an…
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The Secret Service Is Going Broke Protecting Y’all’s Baller in Chief
We’re not even two-thirds of the way through 2017, and the Secret Service has damn near run out of money because Donald “D. Diddy” Trump insists on living like he’s perpetually on the set of a ’90s rap video. According to USA Today, more than 1,000 agents have already hit the limit for their salary…
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‘I Hope Trump Is Assassinated!’: Mo. State Sen. Maria Chappelle-Nadal Investigated by Secret Service for Trump Facebook Post
It all started late Wednesday night after a long day of absorbing the same horrible racist news that the rest of America has been enduring. Nobody feels particularly safe or secure watching the president of the United States give a free hunting license to white nationalists, but it’s particularly hard for Maria Chappelle-Nadal, the state…
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Secret Service Director Steps Down After a Little Over 3 Weeks Working for Trump
Secret Service Director Joseph P. Clancy is a career Secret Service agent and former presidential-detail leader who had left the agency for the private sector but was called by then-President Barack Obama in 2014 to come back to work as director amid a string of security breaches and employee misconduct. Now, after just three weeks…
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Disciplinary Action Looming for Secret Service Agent Who Vowed She Wouldn’t Take Bullet for Trump
If you work for the Secret Service, it’s in your job description to take one for the president. Unless the president is a racist who has offended everyone who isn’t a rich white man—then I forgive you if you don’t want to take one for the team. But it looks like the Secret Service isn’t…