primary
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Rep. Ilhan Omar Beats Well-Funded Challenger Like He Stole Something in Minnesota Democratic Primary
Oh, the pundits waxed on about how Rep. Ilhan Omar, a member of the progressive group of congresswomen known as “The Squad,” was facing serious trouble in the Minnesota Democratic primary on Tuesday. Oh, they waxed on about the money Antone Melton-Meaux, an attorney who also runs a mediation practice, had raised. Oh, you could…
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Progressive Cori Bush Just Pulled Off the Upset for the Ages and Is Poised to Become the 1st Black Woman to Represent Missouri in Congress
Sometimes a stone, a sling and immaculate aim are enough. On Tuesday, in what can only be considered a victory for the ages, Black Lives Matter organizer and activist Cori Bush defeated Rep. William Lacy Clay in Missouri’s Democratic primary. Clay served in the House of Representatives for some 20 years. “They counted us out.…
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Iowa Rep. Steve KKKing of Racism Loses Republican Primary
Steve King, the longtime member of the “I don’t understand how saying that whites are God’s favorite people is racist,” just had a house fall on him, but luckily, his shoes are just fine. The wicked witch of racism and a nine-term Republican congressman lost his primary to Republican state Sen. Randy Feenstra. According to…
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Bernie Sanders Endorses Joe Biden Because What Else Is He Going to Do?
Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders had some really great ideas if he were elected president. He wanted to implement universal health care and free college for all, but it doesn’t matter now because Sen. Sanders wasn’t really personable. In fact, Sanders always looked like he just finished eating a rotten chicken salad sandwich and because of…
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RIP to Bernie Sanders’ Chances of Becoming President as Biden Sweeps Tuesday Primaries
There are people who lose and then there losers. Losers aren’t people who have lost, they are people who perpetually set themselves up for loss. They are people who walk into a situation knowing that there is no way in the world they are going to win and still do it anyway because at this…
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Coronavirus Can’t Stop Democracy: Primaries Continue in 3 States Today
Voters who own hazmat suits, N95 masks, Lysol spray and brown Listerine will brave the coronavirus to vote in Tuesday’s primary because sometimes democracy is a black mother who doesn’t care how silly you look in dress pants, you are going to church anyway! Sometimes democracy doesn’t care that you don’t like broccoli or that…
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Not Too Peachy Keen: Georgia Reschedules Presidential Primary Voting to May 19 Due to Coronavirus Concerns
#DatRona got us all @#$%-ed up. Things in The Peach State aren’t too peachy keen when it comes to voting this spring. On Saturday, Georgia state elections officials postponed next week’s presidential primary because of the coronavirus pandemic — becoming the second state forced to push back a vote in the race for the White…
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Louisiana Becomes 1st State to Postpone Primary as the Coronavirus Crisis Continues
Two weeks ago, few U.S. citizens would have been able to predict the coronavirus would cause “cancel culture” to take on a literal meaning. No one would have expected the NBA to announce that its 2020 season would be suspended indefinitely, that President Donald Trump would be announcing travel bans from Europe (his affinity is…
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Democratic Primaries: Joe Biden Beats Bernie Sanders Like He Stole His Tax Refund
At this point, it might be time for independent Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders to start thanking his supporters and urging them not to be petty Bettys and make sure that they support the eventual Democratic presidential nominee, former Vice President and lifeguard Joe Robinette Biden. Like all-black low-top Nike Air Force 1s, Biden proved to…
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33 Democrats Are on the New Hampshire Primary Ballot, Including Folks Who Aren’t Even Running Anymore
Don’t worry if you didn’t know that the New Hampshire primary is Tuesday. It’s OK; it just means one of three things: You are a black person. You have a life and don’t give a shit about primaries. You are a black person, who has a life and doesn’t give a shit about primaries. The…