A List of Things I’m Qualified to Critique, Since Apparently You’re Only Allowed to Critique Something if You’re an Expert Now

On Monday morning, the National Portrait Gallery unveiled its official portraits of Barack and Michelle Obama. I thought they were nice and cool and sleek and shit, but some others did not. But, then, some people were mad at the people who did not, like, “You can’t critique art if you’re not an expert on art.” Which…

Obama Spent $97,000,000 on Vacations in 8 Years. Here’s How Much Trump Spent in 10 Weeks

Can we all just agree that the president is an orange-skinned snake oil salesman who conned those who voted for him into believing that he wasn’t? Can we also just agree that Russia has a basement apartment in the White House and writes “Mother Russia” on the milk and cereal so that President Asshat doesn’t touch its…

I'm Suffering From "Every Time I Hear 'First Lady' I Think 'Michelle Obama' Even Though She Aint It Anymore" Syndrome

I've accepted, grudgingly, that empty Miracle Whip jar filled with dead maggots with sentience Donald Trump is President of the United States. It's a reality both horrifying (for obvious reasons) and validating, as his ascent and the support that allowed him to ascend is the best possible verification that America…

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