post malone
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A Prayer for Post Malone, Who Says It’s a ‘Struggle Being a White Rapper’
Heavenly Savior, Today I come to you, O Lord, and humbly as I know how. In fact, I come to you so humbly that I will admit that I don’t know whether or not to pronounce the “h” in “humble.” I mean, I can see the letter right there at the beginning of the words,…
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An Open Letter to Post Malone
Dear Mr. Malone: First let me say that, as an old-school hip-hop head, I will refrain from criticizing your music. I will not comment on your lyrical genius of rhyming “shottas” with “grrra-ta-ta-ta.” I won’t even mention how your synthesized, Auto-Tuned, Caucasian half-singing on “Rockstar” sounds as if T-Pain fucked a Pinterest page. I am…
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Punter Marquette King Kicks Balls and Tickles the Ivories
Marquette King is a man of many talents. When he’s not kicking the shit out of a football, he’s making mediocre rap music sound better. Watch King kill this version of Post Malone’s “White Iverson”: He also nailed Anita Baker’s classic “Sweet Love”: And some Maroon 5 song, because apparently Maroon 5 is still…