1. Why do you think it’s cool to try to touch my baby?

The biggest surprise of being a parent so far is how often my daughter surprises me. She’s a little over 2 years old now, and it seems like every week she does or says something new that I had no idea she knew how to do or say. Yesterday morning, for instance, she noticed me laughing at a text I received, and then…

I’m in a real, grown-up relationship. We’re engaged, but it already involves kids, a mortgage, car payments, bills, blended families, vacations and real-life decisions. It also involves fun, but it’s less of the boozy-brunch variety and more of the adult-with-kid fun that occurs when you hang with the other homies…

As the ball dropped on New Year’s Eve, I wasn’t kissing a lover—or even a convenient stranger—or ringing in the new year with friends. Instead, I was a jungle gym, short-order cook, food taster, hairdresser, hairdresser’s client, custodian, bathroom attendant, valet, captive audience, tireless entertainer, human…

The second “Holy shit!” moment my daughter induced came when we first brought her home from the hospital. It’s really surreal and impossible how tiny babies are when they’re first born—it just doesn’t make any sense for something so small to have all the parts that make a human a human—and I remember thinking as I…

Last week a colleague called me into her office to go over some numbers, and when I saw a smiling, gap-toothed girl beaming from a frame on her desk, I said, “Wow, your daughter looks just like you! She’s adorable!” My co-worker—let’s call her Bernice—said, “Thanks! When are you going to have one?”

On Saturday, Sept. 30, 2017, I engaged in a lighthearted game of two-on-two touch football with a couple of my closest friends and the 11-year-old son of one of them. We played to a tie (we were playing to 2). One of my friends is in phenomenal shape; he’s contemplating competing in USA Track & Field events. My other…

Full disclosure: The headline is a lie. My daughter isn’t actually 2 years old yet. She’ll be 2 next month. But I remember, before she was born, making fun of parents who’d tell you their child’s age in months instead of years. And then I became one of those parents. So today, this is me attempting (and likely…

Kahlil from Richmond, VA asks:

It wasn't always this way.

1. Look, I get it. Pretty much every living thing you see — humans, birds, gnats, plants, Zetas, etc — can reproduce. And when something can be done by everything that shares any type of biological connection to you, it's really not that big of a deal. I mean, I didn't go around all excited and shit when I…

In snowed in DC this morning. It is important to note what time it snowed (about 5am) because if it had snowed last night or in the really wee hours of the morning then perhaps the mayhem that occurred wouldn't be as terrible as it was. Mind you, it would still be mayhem, but instead of Hiroshima, we'd get the 17th…