nestor
-
Fla. Rep. Matt Gaetz Wants to Give Kyle Rittenhouse a Job
The deplorable Floridian not only believes that Kenosha, Wis. shooter Kyle Rittenhouse is not guilty; he wants to make him a congressional intern.
-
Can You Hear That Noise? It’s the Sweet Song of the Walls Closing In on Rep. Matt Gaetz
One night long ago, the sludge from the bottom of a shrimp boat had meth-fueled sex with a homeless cheerleading boot and the result was Rep. Matt Gaetz. And now, the lovechild of old shrimp and a discarded boot is maybe about to lose his job; assuming, of course, that the allegations of his alleged…
-
In a Confession Letter, Matt Gaetz’s Friend Claims the Embattled Congressman Paid for Sex With Minor: Report
Welp, it looks like Florida Rep. Matt Gaetz better start working out so that he can fight off attackers in prison because he’s about to lose his job and go straight to the pokey if anything in his former friend’s letter is true. Joel Greenberg, a longtime associate of Gaetz, admitted in a letter that…
-
Ohio Rep. Jim Jordan Wants to Have a Hearing on ‘Cancel Culture,’ Because Jim Jordan Is a Goddamn Idiot
Rep. Jim Jordan (R-Ohio) is the congressman who refuses to wear a blazer. As such he’s earned the moniker “Jacketless Jim Jordan.” Jim Jordan is also the former assistant wrestling coach at Ohio State accused of aiding in a coverup of sexual assaults by team doctor Dr. Richard Strauss, who reportedly abused team members from…
-
Rep. Matt Gaetz Had a TV Studio Installed in His Father’s Home With Taxpayer Money and Other Possible Violations
When Florida Rep. Matt Gaetz isn’t playing catch with his fully grown adopted, but not really adopted man-child Nestor, he’s apparently violating House ethics rules, allegedly. Gaetz, a grown man who longs to be Trump’s son, “improperly sent tens of thousands of taxpayer dollars to a limited liability company linked to a speech-writing consultant who…
-
We Still Need to Talk About Rep. Matt Gaetz’s ‘Son’ Nestor
I have started this column at least three times but I feel like you should know this before I begin. The Root doesn’t wade in the kiddie pool. We have no problem destroying your least favorites and your favorites, but like the mafia, we have rules. We don’t go after kids, ever. So we kicked…