kirstjen nielsen
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Report: Trump Wanted to Shoot, Electrocute and Use Alligators on Migrants at Mexican Border
One of the things I find most fascinating about stupid people is the unseen machinations of their minds. When they commit acts of numbskullery, I always wonder about the things they didn’t do. Did Jussie Smollett consider a story about being abducted by racist, homophobic aliens before he devised the post-Subway sandwich MAGA kidnapping idea?…
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There Was a Secret White House Plan for Mass Arrests of Immigrant Families. When DHS Officials Pushed Back, They Were Fired
Former Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen had always been the cherry on top of Trump’s orange vomit sundae. She was the PTA-mom face of Trump’s zero-tolerance immigration policy and was not only complicit in Trump’s fake creation of a humanitarian crisis at the border, she testified in front of Congress that migrant children weren’t being…
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Former Migrant Baby Stealer Kirstjen Nielsen’s Colleagues Think She’s ‘Completely and Totally Unhirable’
Former Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen, thief of migrant children, is going to have a tough time finding a new job because she was the head of the migrant baby stealing program and people outside the Trump administration don’t like baby stealing! According to the Atlantic, folks close to Nielsen say that in normal situations…
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Black Twitter Gathers Meghan McCain After She Disrespects Joy Behar, Patron Saint of Decorum, on The View
By any and all metrics, columnist Meghan McCain is unremarkable in every way. In fact, once you remove nepotism from the equation, all you’re left with is temper tantrums and a striking resemblance to former U.S. Senator John McCain. To that point, the conservative commentator pulled down her figurative pants and showed her entire ass…
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Trump Continues Reshuffling the Deck Chairs on the White House Titanic, Fires Secret Service Director
President Trump is removing U.S. Secret Service Director Randolph “Tex” Alles from his position, because he doesn’t have any idea what being president requires. On Sunday, Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen resigned for her position as the most deplorable person under Trump not named Sarah “Suckabee” Sanders. It’s been reported that Nielsen was going to…
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Kirstjen Nielsen Out as Homeland Security Secretary Amid Reports That She Wasn't Willing to Break All the Laws
Kirstjen Nielsen, the woman with the worst spelled first name in the Trump administration, resigned as Homeland Security secretary on Sunday, evoking the famous tenant from the apostle Smokey, “You’ve got to be a stupid motherfucker to get fired on your day off.” “I have determined that it is the right time for me to…
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Heads Up, Trump: Democrats Say They’ll Make Hate Crimes a Top Priority in 2019
Earlier this month, an FBI report found that the number of reported hate crimes increased substantially under President Donald Trump’s tenure in office. Now, following the Democrats taking power back in the House of Representatives, the top-ranking Democrat on the House Judiciary Committee is warning the Trump administration that the rise in hate crimes—and the…
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DHS Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen Has One Foot Out of the White House and the Other on a Banana Peel
President Trump is draining the swamp, and no that’s not a euphemism for the commandant in chief hitting the bathroom (well it kind of is). But if the rumors are true, Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen (the woman on Trump’s staff with a random misspelling in her own name) is on her way…
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Done With Mere Law, The Trump Administration to Violate Basic Human Decency With New Asylum Restrictions
While the horse-leech’s daughters that have replaced America’s soul will most certainly continue to cry out for more depravity, it’ll be truly chilling to see how much lower the Trump administration – on a day that featured a deep-faked video of a phantom assault disseminated by White House press secretary Sarah Sanders – will venture…
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There’s Nothing Wrong With Treating an Asshole Like an Asshole
I believe in the Golden Rule. While I am not a biblical scholar, I learned this religious lesson from the great teacher and philosopher who said unto the men who constantly chased, persecuted and tormented him simply because of who he was: It ain’t no fun when the rabbit got the gun. —Bugs Bunny Human…