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invited to the cookout

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    10 Reasons Why Inviting White People to the Mythical 'Cookout' Is Stupid and Silly and Needs to Stop Forever

    1. Because it’s stupid and silly. 2. Because you’re fucking goofy for thinking this is cool. 3. Because cookout meat is precious and sacred and not meant to be shared with interlopers, gentrifiers, and Travis Fucking Kelce. 4. Because the bar for what constitutes “cookout invites” is lower than Rush Limbaugh’s life expectancy. 5. Because…

    By

    Damon Young

    Published

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    Authorities Rescind All Invitations to the Cookout

    Citing rampant abuse and the increasing number of black barbecue-goers who mistakenly assumed that they were eating auntie-certified potato salad but somehow ended up with cubed cauliflower and sour cream in their mouths, America’s oldest and most respected governing bodies for negro culinary activities issued a moratorium on all cookout invitations for the foreseeable future.…

    By

    Michael Harriot

    Published

  • The Root's 2018 Cookout Awards

    Giving honor to the grillmasters, the Kool-Aid stirrers and even the people whose cooking skills are so deficient that they were only asked to bring cups and napkins, I bring you greetings from the Harriot family cookout where Aunt Marvell is our potato salad-maker. As Labor Day draws near, it also signals the official end…

    By

    Michael Harriot

    Published