fox and friends
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Grasping at Straws: Fox and Friends Has Trump Believing Google Search for ‘Can I Change My Vote’ Means Votes for Him
There was a time after I’d just broken up with my girlfriend when I believed that everything that was happening was secretly a sign from God or the universe that I’d made the wrong choice. I was desperate because I was single and secretly feeling like I may be this way forever. Desperation does that.…
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White House Chief of Staff Claims Trump Is the Only President to Take Out a Terrorist. Osama Bin Laden's Ghost Says That's a Lie
Ever since Mark Meadows left Nickelodeon’s Double Dare his life has been trending downhill. Managing Editor Genetta Adams: That wasn’t Mark Meadows that was Marc Summers. Me: Oh shit, what did Mark Meadows do before becoming White House chief of staff? GA: Who knows? While Meadows might not have had a job before working for…
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Today in White People 'Trying It': Sen. Tom Cotton Compares Black Lives Matter Protesters to Confederate Traitors
One day, during a meeting on journalistic legal policies, a very sincere attorney suggested that, instead of calling someone “a racist,” it was better to refer to the person’s actions as racist. Even though I still adhere to that policy, it made no sense to me. If I am allowed to refer to a person…
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Fox & Friends to Trump: Please Wear a Mask Over Your Anus-Like Mouth (I’m Paraphrasing a Bit)
The shadow president known to the American public as Fox News is getting tired of Trump’s shit and has asked, practically begged, the president of people who fry snacks to wear a goddamn mask over his anus-shaped pie hole because he’d be modeling good practices and would stop being such a dick. “I think that…
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Trump Sock Puppets Diamond and Silk Come for Steve Cohen: 'He's Racially Insensitive'
While the rest of the world was thoroughly amused at Rep. Steve Cohen’s decision to mock Attorney General William Barr’s no call, no show at the House Judiciary Committee on Thursday, Fox News hand puppets Diamond and Silk—professionally known as Shuck and Jive—took umbrage at Cohen’s methods in doing so. Outside of blatantly calling Barr…
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Trump Supporter Tells Black Man He’s Out of His ‘Cotton-Picking Mind’ During Appearance on Fox & Friends
A former deputy campaign manager for Donald Trump told a black Democratic strategist that he was out of his “cotton-picking mind” during a heated panel debate concerning the president’s immigration rhetoric on Fox & Friends. The New York Daily News reports that David Bossie and Joel Payne were discussing former CIA Director Michael Hayden’s tweet…
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Trump Just Admitted That Michael Cohen Acted on His Behalf When He Paid Off Porn Actress, and Why This Matters
President Donald Trump needs a teleprompter around him at all times, including when he takes the presidential golf cart to his local KFC, because whenever he goes off script, he not only puts his orange-hued foot in his mouth but also risks incriminating himself. This happened Thursday morning during an interview on Fox & Friends,…
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DeRay Mckesson Sues Fox & Friends Host for Saying He Incited Violence Against a Cop
DeRay Mckesson filed a lawsuit against Fox & Friends host Jeanine Pirro for defamation on Tuesday for claiming that he incited violence against a Baton Rouge, La., cop during a 2016 protest. The suit was filed in New York County Supreme Court in Manhattan. As the New York Daily News reports, Pirro’s commentary stems from…
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Habanero Hitler Confirms the Obvious: Hillary Clinton’s Name Will Never Completely Go Away, Even if You Want it To
It’s easy to lose sight of this in light of his bevy of controversies, conceived hour after hour, but many folks seem to forget that Donald Trump never intended to go away. Months before Election Day, Vanity Fair published a story asking whether that carrot-juice-induced, piss-colored con man’s end game was a television network. Moreover,…
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Trump Implies That He Wants Robert Mueller Gone and Lied About the Comey Tapes to Keep the Ex-FBI Director Honest
This fidget-spinner-ass administrator can’t stop spinning the truth. President Molten Lava Face had one of his friends from Fake News Fox News over to the White House to feather him with only the softest of questions, but from that interview—which was shot Thursday and aired Friday morning—I was able to ascertain two things: Special counsel…