In 1 Press Conference, Kirstjen Nielsen Just Beat Out Sarah Sanders for Most Hated Person in Trump’s White House 

President Mein Führer von SpankDat is excluded from the “most hated in the White House” game because he would win every time. Before Monday’s press conference with Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen on the youth internment camps—which used to be big-box department stores or warehouses before…

Video Evidence Proves That Betsy DeVos Might Be the Dumbest Person in Trump’s Cabinet

If the fate of the world rested on Education Secretary Betsy DeVos’ ability to answer a question about anything from elementary-level math to what she ate for breakfast, I’d pray only that we all got at least five phone calls to tell our loved ones goodbye. If DeVos were in a mental-math Olympics against a giraffe,…

I’m De Captain Now! Republicans Hold 9,000,000 Kids Hostage With Likely Government Shutdown

Saturday is the one-year anniversary of President Donald Trump’s inauguration, and you must admit that he’s managed a pretty radical transformation of America. He’s turned his White House into the location of a horrible reality show. He’s turned Twitter into a weapon of mass destruction. He’s made the United States…

Sen. Jeff Flake Just Torched Trump on the Senate Floor, but Does This Really Mean He’s an Ally?

Before we run to nominate Sen. Jeff Flake (R-Ariz.) as the designated white man to bring cups, plates, napkins and other nonfood items to the cookout because of the scorched-earth flames he threw on the Senate floor—in which he compared President Donald Trump to Joseph Stalin—let’s be selective about who gets into…

If You’re Reading This, Thank You for Everything (and Also for Reading This)

On a macro level and, I think, by most objective measures, 2017 was a fairly shitty year. I don’t have the time or disposition to run down everything that went wrong, but in a nutshell: Our president sucks, Congress sucks, our white electorate sucks, white people keep white-folkin’, we lost a bevy of great people and…