blackest thing
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Why This All-White Memorial Day Weekend Sale at Macy’s Is the Blackest Thing That Ever Happened This Week
1. Because reserving an entire section of the store for Memorial Day soirees, crispy cabaret linens, post-prom line-up BBQs and Kenny Lattimore jazz cruise brunches on skinny rivers proves that someone at Macy’s clearly did their research and knows we’re approaching prime “niggas throwing and/or attending parties where you’re mandated to wear all white” party…
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Jimmy Butler Going to Work Just to Roast His Boss and Coworkers Is the Blackest Thing That Ever Happened This Week
On Friday, I will be a part of a daylong wedding ceremony that will merge Ghanaian and African-American traditions for one glorious and black-as-the-fuck celebration. The members of the wedding party will change wardrobes three times. I’m currently in a text thread with Panama and each of the 11 groomsmen. Topics discussed over the past…
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This Dad Giving His Daughter a Virtual Rollercoaster Ride Is the Blackest (and Best) Thing I've Ever Seen This Week
Perhaps later this year, after the midterms and/or in two years after the next presidential election, we’ll be able to confirm the existence of the silver linings we hope the Trump presidency has gifted us. Maybe the Democratic Party will actually embrace a more progressive and inclusive agenda instead of just positioning themselves as the…
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The 10 Blackest Things About This Kid’s Journal Entry Roasting His Teacher for Lying About Christopher Columbus
1. The matter-of-fact way he states, “Today was not a good learning day.” Which, in this context, is the equivalent of starting a sentence with, “But I just think it’s kinda funny that … ” 2. “I only wanted to hear you not talking” is probably the best burn I’ve heard since Morgan Freeman’s character…
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Uncle Denzel Reading a Takeout Menu During the Golden Globes Is the Blackest Thing That Ever Happened This Week
Denzel Washington is a living icon—a man so ensconced in our collective cultural consciousness that even his voice, his walk and his facial expressions are considered independent sentient beings. He was at the Golden Globes last night as his friend Oprah Winfrey received the Cecil B. DeMille Award for lifetime achievement—an honor he also received…
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The White Woman Who Got Fired for Giving Trump the Finger Is the Blackest Thing That Ever Happened This Week
To be clear, I am not interested in any honorary blackening or distributing any sort of cookout invitations to Juli Briskman, the white woman fired from her marketing-company job after a photo of her flipping the bird at a Trump motorcade went viral. Because while Juli might very well be swell, I don’t know her…
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Four Reasons Why Melanin Illustrated Is The Blackest And Best Thing That Ever Happened This Week
1. Because I keep trying to find ways to articulate the myriad shades of beautiful and banging-ass brown found in this photo shoot — done in Costa Rica by 28 members of the Florida A&M chapter of Delta Sigma Theta, where they celebrated the 10 year anniversary of them crossing in 2007 — and I…
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Why I’m Willing to Represent the Entire Black Community to the Not Black Community
You know what I don’t mind? Aside from not minding if you stroke me up, (I don’t mind) I do not mind being the voice of Black America. Not on radio or television, I mean in the office and to white people anywhere. If I work at a company and there aren’t a lot of…
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Tiffany Haddish Said "What Had Happened Was" During Her Will And Jada Swamp Trip Story And Now I'm In Love
According to Clover Hope, Aisha Harris, and other people I trust, Girls Trip is apparently the raunchy and randy comedy we didn’t know we were waiting for and wanted until it was here. (Basically, it’s the iPad of comedies.) And this makes me happy and shit, as it apparently 1) proves (again) that Malcolm Lee is Hollywood’s most underrated…