The new documentary “Untold: The Death and Life of Lamar Odom” has folks revisiting Lamar and Khloé Kardashian’s tumultuous relationship. And let’s just say, the mess was even messier than we ever thought. But beyond the drama, it raises a bigger question: why are women—Black women especially—expected to stay and struggle through a relationship, instead of choosing themselves when it stops serving them?
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From Jay-Z and Beyoncé’s “Bonnie & Clyde” to 50 Cent’s “21 Questions” and Ja Rule and Ashanti’s “Always On Time,” today’s culture is known for glorifying a woman “staying down” despite horrific circumstances. It’s past time we unpack this toxic expectation—one that pressures women to sacrifice their health, peace, and well-being for someone else’s struggles. Khloé’s experience in the documentary shows just how heavy that burden can be.
During the film, we see just how deep Lamar’s struggles with fame and addiction really went. And after multiple instances of drug use, the former two-time NBA champ admitted he suffered 12 strokes and 6 heart attacks.
“He would escape rehab and go on a drug bender… no one could find him,” Khloé revealed. “I just felt such a responsibility to cover this up and protect him,” she explained.
The flip side of that is, once someone shows you who they are at their worst, the best thing a woman can do is make a decision that protects her—her safety, her health, her peace of mind. Instead, more often than not, the opposite happens, and the outcome is pure destruction. At what point does holding someone down start costing you yourself—and why are women expected to carry that weight no matter how heavy it gets?
The bottom line is, it’s time we stop shaming women for leaving bad relationships.
Choosing yourself should never be treated like a betrayal. Still, every single day, folks peddle the narrative that a woman should never leave a man while he’s “down”—that she should struggle alongside him relentlessly and suffer by any means necessary. Walking away isn’t weakness—it’s strength. Choosing yourself shouldn’t need an apology, and it sure as hell shouldn’t come with shame.
Straight From 
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