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Let select members of the Tropicana Jong-il administration tell it, we needn’t worry about the threat of looming nuclear war. During an appearance on ABC’s This Week, national security adviser H.R. McMaster was asked whether or not the United States was any closer to war with North Korea than it had been in recent memory. “No, I don’t think so. I think we’re not closer to war than a week ago,” McMaster explained. However, he did note, “But we are closer to war than we were a decade ago.”

That’s not especially comforting, beloved.

Meanwhile, CIA Director Mike Pompeo said nuclear war with North Korea is “not imminent.” Speaking on Fox News Sunday, Pompeo said that while North Korean leader Kim Jong Un will continue moving toward expanding his nuclear arsenal, he is not as crazy as he appears and will respond in kind to 45’s strong rhetoric.


“I would describe him as rational; he responded to adverse circumstances, and as the Trump administration continues to put diplomatic pressure on the regime, I’m confident he will see that and the people around him will see that,” Pompeo argued.

Yeah, but what about the U.S. president? He is not rational. He doesn’t care much about diplomacy unless it involves Vladimir Putin, and that form of diplomacy seemingly boils down to Putin telling 45 “Do as I say, bitch,” in Russian. He has an affinity for the strongman because he envies the ability to do whatever he wants no matter how cruel, unconscionable or chaotic said actions might be.

McMaster and Pompeo, along with others here, aren’t fretting about nuclear war being on the horizon, but I’m not in that number. Is it likely? Maybe not, but is it implausible given who presently occupies the White House? Exactly.


A few folks working over in the Financial District aren’t glossing over the possibility. Spoiler alert, though, Yung Scrooges: If we’re engaged in all-out nuclear war, you probably won’t have to worry so much about the markets as about the crossroads.

While I agree that their president is a punk-ass bitch whose bark is much louder than his bite, it cannot be discounted that we are dealing with an erratic lunatic with a disastrous presidency that’s drowning in scandal and incompetence who also just so happens to have a longtime affinity for using distraction to save his orange ass. Although, during the primary, 45 proved to be an anomaly in that he was the only Republican besides maybe Rand Paul who didn’t constantly beat a war drum, he switches position whenever it suits him. He has no guiding principles, which means bluster and idiocy could take us anywhere. Yes, I just started singing 112, too, but focus.


When McMaster notes that the military is “always locked and loaded,” all he does is remind some of us of the underlying problem.


On that same program McMaster appeared on, a South Korean official acknowledged that 45’s “fire and fury” comments have slightly spooked the administration of South Korean President Moon Jae-in, who called it “worrisome” that the president of the United States of America would be making shit worse by talking mad reckless and shit (paraphrasing). This week, Moon will be meeting U.S. military officials to discuss the rising tensions between the U.S. and North Korea. Unclear on what is the diplomatic way to express the sentiment “Tell y’all’s devil to shut the fuck up before many of my folks and yours die,” but I hope the message is received.

Hopefully, things get tampered down, but I do not put it past 45 to look at his poll numbers and not exploit war to bring them back up. The same can be said of his dipping into the low 30s or even 20s and PERHAPS deciding that if he won’t leave a good legacy behind, he might as well end civilization altogether. Or his throwing a Twitter tantrum and somehow that sparking an all-out war.

Would that really be surprising from this sociopathic and incredibly stupid person? Saddle Tan Nixon is putting us in an eerily similar situation to that created by Richard Nixon. You know, the angry drunk who once wanted to drop a nuclear bomb on North Korea? Unfortunately, there is little room to believe that there will be anyone like Defense Secretary James Schlesinger to develop a system to stop a madman in control from setting off Armageddon.


Now, if 45 does decide to blow a bag of nuclear bombs, I hope he waits until the seasons of Game of Thrones, Insecure and Love & Hip Hop: Hollywood end. I should probably go see Girls Trip again, too, right? I also need Beyoncé and Rihanna to go ahead and drop some new albums. Cardi B has been working on an EP, so I’d rather not die before that.

I know a lot of y’all have been scared straight into veganism because of that Netflix doc, but if 45 might take us all the way up to God before year’s end, you might as well fry the rest of that bacon and stop depriving yourself. Hell, treat yourself and wrap around some fried chicken. Just do a few situps afterward so you can meet your God not looking like a complete slouch.

Also, if you have been delaying the start of your ho phase, make the most of the present. Just wrap it up and maybe even spritz a lil’ holy water on it before you begin. Gonorrhea is stronger than ever, y’all.


I am usually not the type to think about doomsday at length. I like to leave such talk of the rapture or nuclear war to a concerned and praying elder. However, when white folks select a reality star as president because they want to feel good about being white (with the help of the Russians), all bets are off. And mind you, this all happened while 45 was on vacation. Don’t even get me started on chicken-wing prices being at an all-time high. Nothing makes sense anymore.

Who knows what happens next, but if you needed a reminder to live life to the fullest because tomorrow is not promised, look at that Twitter thot with the nuclear codes being a keyboard thug. Go live as much as you can for as long as we’re still here.