Professor: Black Folks Who Won’t Let Their Food Touch Are Annoying, But They’re Also Right

There are a few things that are guaranteed to be at every Black Thanksgiving. A game of dominoes, a pan of dressing (NOT stuffing), ham and a person who refuses to let the food on their plate touch. Usually I’m a live and let live kind of guy, but as a kid that kind of person used to drive me crazy every Thanksgiving. (Shoutout to my cousin Dionte.)

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Let’s just be honest: The “my food can’t touch” people can be annoying. They will have three or four plates of food, and as a result an annoyingly large amount space is gone when they sit at the Thanksgiving table.

The reason this used to drive me crazy as a kid is because we were already sitting at the smaller kid’s table. That means we already had a limited amount of space, but because one of us didn’t want our food touching everyone else had to suffer. (I love you Dionte.)

Believe it or not, there is an OCD adjacent diagnosis for people who can’t let their food touch. It’s called brumotactillophobia. It’s a legit diagnosis when a person cannot stand the very thought of their food touching. But that ain’t what’s going on with most people. (Bad grammar; good communication.)

Let’s tell the truth and shame the devil. These folks are picky eaters — that’s why I decided to join them.

After years of judging and turning up my nose at these three-plates-of-food-on-Thanksgiving people, I got curious. I wanted to know why they were so fussy about their food.

A few years ago I decided to try it. And you know what? Never again will my food mix.

When you separate foods, you gain a deeper appreciation for the hours of cooking that went into each meal. You also start to appreciate the different textures and flavors of things like the dressing and greens. (In fact, if you don’t already put your greens in a bowl when you eat them, there is a high chance that you are a sociopath. Either that or you voted for Trump.)

So, these irritating people who take up all the space at family gatherings are on to something. In fact, we should not just let these folks eat in peace. We should join them.