While you’re sitting there worried about white supremacist terrorism, Russians subverting democracy and North Korea slingshotting nuclear bombs at us through the world’s largest spitball straw, the real apocalypse is happening in New York City.

According to multiple outlets, Black Twitter and the moistness from tears of the forgotten victims—men who planned to go to the shake club this weekend—New York City’s black exotic dancers have decided to go on strike in response to a number of issues prevalent in New York’s titty-shaking industry, including colorism, celebrity bartenders and blatant racism.


One of the issues unique to the Big Apple’s professional naked-dancing community is the widespread colorism in the clubs. There are many striptease technologists who say it’s hard for dark-skinned women to get a job in New York’s unclothed-entertainment venues. Club owners and strip club human resources departments seem to prefer Hispanic and white dancers. Veteran thong-hiding technician Gizelle Marie explains here:


The rise of celebrity bartenders and the changing role of bartenders have also fueled a war in strip clubs. Bartenders often aren’t required to “tip out” or share their tips, and even in places where they are, celebrity bartenders often conflict with the revenue from the strippers.

A new trend of hiring well-known strippers to “tend bar” has led to a conflict of interest for many clubgoers seeking to make it rain. When you’re deciding whom to tip, it’s hard to choose between one naked dancer and another naked dancer handing your liquor. Choices.


As salacious as this sounds, none of this has anything to do with booties or breasts. The clubs are legal. Stripping is just an occupation. The only controversial thing about this entire story is the marginalization of women of color. If this were a tech company, it would be on the front page of the Wall Street Times. If it were ... ummm ... let’s say the film industry, someone would be on TMZ explaining the #NYCStripClubsSoWhite movement.


It is a labor issue of a group of people paid to entertain. How they entertain is inconsequential.

And, of course, the Rosa Parks of this movement is our crazy cousin from the Bronx, Cardi B. The newly engaged “Bodak Yellow” rapper has always talked about these and other issues in strip clubs. Black womanhood comes in all forms, and—if nothing else—Cardi B has always been unapologetically Cardi B, even if making money moves has precluded her from dancing any mo’.


I blame Donald Trump.

I’m just saying, when Barack Obama was president, the stripper industry had one of the lowest unemployment rates in history. Look it up. Look. It. Up.


While you might find this trivial, the next time you go to the booty bar and have to watch a Caucasian former gymnast climbing the pole that resembles her body, desperately convulsing, trying to make her Little Debbie snack cakes clap off the beat, remember, you could have stopped this. The next time you find yourself in dire need of unclothed, in-person twerking—tip the dark-skinned woman a little better.

As a matter of fact, when I’m in New York for The Root 100 party, I think I might go to a union meeting in one of the more favorable strip clubs. You know ...


Just to support the movement.

World-renowned wypipologist. Getter and doer of "it." Never reneged, never will. Last real negus alive.

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