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Maybe We Need Tighter Sword Control Laws: Anchorage Man Reportedly Brings Knife to a Sword Fight

En garde, bitch! I imagine thatโ€™s how a sword fight starts in 2019. Suggested Reading Three Friends Were Headed To A Beyoncรฉ Concert, But One Dies On the Way. Guess What The Other Two Did Next? Our Fave Moments From A$AP Rocky’s Fashion Show During Paris Men’s Fashion Week 15 Sneaky Moves Pulled by Trump…

En garde, bitch! I imagine thatโ€™s how a sword fight starts in 2019.

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Trump’s Tariffs Might Stick Around. What Should We Buy Now?
Trump’s Tariffs Might Stick Around. What Should We Buy Now?

Police have a suspect in custody following a fight that took place in an Anchorage mall food court, resulting in a knife stabbing and a sword slashing, according to police. The suspect apparently had a small arsenal of an ax and some swords, making it pretty easy for police to grab him, believe it or not.

He and another manโ€”police think knew each otherโ€”got into an argument. No word on whether it was about whether Charlieโ€™s or Auntie Anneโ€™s lemonade was better. One was escorted out but came backโ€”and was woefully unprepared for the renaissance faire arsenal the suspect had on him.

Upon seeing the man return, itโ€™s unlikely the sword wielder screamed, โ€œBy the power of Grayskull!โ€ But itโ€™s hilarious to think he did, so I certainly will. He reportedly pulled out a knife and stabbed the other man in the upper body, after which the victim was somehow able to grab a small sword and wound the suspectโ€™s leg. Between that and the fact that he came back to a fight with a motherfucker who literally had several swords, I have to assume the victim was some incarnation of Beatrix Kiddo. Both men are fine.

Police will apparently release the suspectโ€™s identity and the charges filed against him sometime today.

For my part, Iโ€™m just trying to confirm what Iโ€™m already assuming about the backgrounds of these two very ridiculous and also very much alive men, whichโ€ฆ Well, youโ€™ll notice that I have this post in the โ€œWypipoโ€ category. If Iโ€™m wrong, Iโ€™ll admit as much, but I donโ€™t think I am!

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