While the vision of “happily ever after” involves marriage and children for many folks, that doesn’t appear the case for R&B singer Mýa. And now, she’s opening up about it.
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If you’ll remember, we recently told you about about rapper Offset and his aversion to marriage. His decision to not walk down the aisle comes amid his messy divorce from his soon-to-be ex-wife Cardi B. But for Mýa, she has no mess that might deter her from getting hitched, so it’s a wonder why she’s opting not to go down that route.
Well, speaking in conversation with Melyssa Ford for the “Hot and Bothered” podcast, she revealed that the thought of getting married and having kids has just never been her focus due to fear.
“I’ve always thought a little different. The white wedding dress, I was very fearful of those things, so I looked elsewhere and probably escaped too much in my work and ‘keep going,’” she said. “But also I think being independent has forced me to show up for myself and obviously family, friends, and this operation because I have a mission and I have a vision, but it requires me to be gone and that’s also very, very much fear filled.”
She went on to explain that due to her career, she feels like she’d be gone majority of the time and that would make it hard for her to show up properly for her partner and kids. As such, she’s reached a certain level of acceptance about it and has opted to look for the love she receives on all fronts from close friends and loved ones.
“I’m not worried about it because my life is full of love and it comes in so many different forms — not just one person, so I’ve had to recalibrate my brain,” she said in part. “And not, I think, govern my life off of this fantasy or illusion that we’ve all been indoctrinated by or taught by…I’m very happy with myself.”
Still, at the end of the day, she’s not ruling it out as an option completely. She assured Ford that she’s open to it but “right now I’m on a specific assignment.”
Once her words started to make the rounds on social media, many women shouted her out for speaking her truth.
“I love that Mya said this. This is what decentering men looks like. And it’s threatening to A LOT of people. I also believe that marriage and children should be OPTIONAL!” wrote one user on X/Twitter.
“Just seen a clip of Mya talking about why she never desired marriage or kids. I really LOVE how she spoke on this. I love how we now have more women openly discussing such topics,” said another.
Another user added: “I seen a clip with Mya saying that she never aspired to have marriage or children and I admire women who know what’s for them and what’s not.”
However, there were some users who were skeptical of the singer’s point of view.
“This goes for Mya and any other man or woman who say “they don’t want marriage or kids”. Like i say all the time. It’s not them.it’s you. Simple,” one person wrote.
On Instagram, one other user noted: “This is her trauma response to marriage and children. It’s also possible she fear men as a whole as well. A lot of ppl miss that.”
“She’s not healed from past trauma. She’s beautiful outside but inside there’s a lot of pain,” one other person surmised.
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