I estimate that over my 15-plus years in recruiting and human resources, I've looked at close to 20,000 résumés. I've recruited for every type of position you can possibly imagine—from warehouse workers making $8 to CEOs making close to half a million.
But there's one thing that always stood out in each of these applications and résumés: The people were qualified for the jobs they were applying for.
As I was looking at a batch of résumés recently, it dawned on me that maybe more people should apply for jobs for which they're not even remotely qualified. Just like Donald Trump. He's president-elect and has not one bit of experience when it comes to government. Hell, does he even pay his taxes?
In the age of Trump's America, is experience even necessary anymore? Will this make recruiting and applying for jobs even easier? I say, "Hells yeah!"
Job hunters, be like Trump. Apply to any and every job out there, even if you don't have the experience. Below is a practical guide for how to fill out applications for jobs you probably shouldn't even be applying for. If Trump can be president, you can be:
Doctors have spent years in college and medical school studying such things as biology and the human body. Some are looked upon as experts in their field. But what if you don't have the education or experience, and you want to be a doctor? Well, simple; when asked for your background, just say you've watched numerous episodes of House, ER, Dr. Oz and The Doctors. Surgical experience? Well, there's that frog you dissected in high school, and the chicken you cut before baking it. That should be enough experience right there. Also, Band-Aids and Robitussin. Tell them you never leave the house without either.
If you're like me and grew up with three younger siblings, you've been teaching people s—t for decades. Math, English, spelling, geometry. As an older sibling, I spent hours helping the younger ones with homework. I'm a teacher. I can do it! Fire up Netflix and look at some shows like Head of the Class, Dangerous Minds and The Steve Harvey Show. Wait … why was the show called The Steve Harvey Show, when it was about a music teacher named Steve Hightower?
According to Colin Kaepernick, you can become a police officer faster than becoming a beautician. Just watch one episode of Cops; you should be well-prepared.
If you just so happen to have a wealthy dad, you, too, can inherit his millions and do what you please with it. Like participate in discriminatory housing practices (if you're lucky, you'll even be able to become president). We've all played Monopoly at least once in our lives. What other training do you need?
When the 2020 election rolls around, aim high! Forget the fact that you've never held public office or even passed 11th-grade civics class. Forget the fact that you may have raped a 13-year-old girl back in the day. Chuck deuces to the fact that you probably haven't filed taxes in God knows how long. Play dumb when people ask about your racism and sexism. You, too, can become president.
Never, ever let anyone tell you you're not qualified for a job. Take a page out of Trump's book; it worked for him.