If you wouldβve told me Iβd be living in a world where Idris Elba wasnβt even considered the top five Sexiest Men Alive in the UK, Iβd tell you you were a liar straight out the pits of hell.
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But thatβs exactly what world Iβm living in thanks to the recently released 2024 list of the UKβs Sexiest Men Alive where, in a shocking twist, British journalist Jeremy Clarkson took the top spot. Immediately following were: Marvel star Tom Holland, Prince William, Gareth Southgate, Cillian Murphy (whoβs Irish by the way) and, in spot number six, Idris Elba.
*deep, heavy, Negro spiritual sigh*
What in the entire hell is this?! Number six? Have yβall seen Idris Elba? I mean, really, have you all gotten a good look with both eyes at the beautiful man that is Idris Elba? Since the very first time us folks here in America saw him as Stringer Bell in βThe Wire,β weβve had a longstanding para-social love affair.
Itβs the reason why his current wife Sabrina Dhowre Elba hilariously acquiesced and acknowledged the rest of us whoβve considered him our husbands in our heads as her βsisterwives.β (I donβt see anyone clamoring to cuff Mr. Clarkson like that...just saying.)
Whatβs even more incredulous is that Clarkson also has a history of using racial slurs, misogynistic and homophobic language, assaulting people, and being outright offensive. If bigotry is the new sexy, then folks in the UK have a bigger problem then this wack-ass list.
The fact that in the year of our Lord 2024, five other (letβs admit it...non-sexy) men made it in front of Elba is not only shocking, itβs appalling, shameful, distressing, jarring and a decision that leaves me truly flabbergasted.
Damson Idris was right there! Rege-Jean Page was right there! Aaron Pierre was right there! Daniel Kaluuya was right there! John Boyega was right there! Luscien Laviscount was right there! Skepta was right there! Lews Hamilton was right there! Alfred Enoch was right there! Martins Imhangbe was right there! Aml Ameen was right there! But I digress.
I donβt know who the hell they asked to come up with this list but I need all of England to swear that they wonβt ask those same folks again next year, cool? Cool.
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