Susy Vazquez prays before a shadow that has formed what many think is the silhouette of Joseph and the Virgin Mary standing over the baby Jesus at St. Brendan Catholic Church’s Adoration Chapel on Sept. 21, 2007, in Miami. (Joe Raedle/Getty Images)

Everyone can stop worrying about guns and mass shootings in schools because a Florida lawmaker has just introduced groundbreaking legislation that will surely be adopted by other areas throughout the nation and will definitely put a halt to gun violence.

According to CNN, Rep. Kimberly Daniels, a Democrat, pushed a bill requiring public schools to display the motto “In God we trust,” saying that while gun violence is a problem, “issues of the heart” need addressing as well.

Advertisement

“It is not a secret that we have some gun issues that need to be addressed,” Daniels said on the House floor Wednesday, CNN reports. “But the real thing that needs to be addressed are issues of the heart.”

Yes, Daniels, it’s issues of the heart. That same motto is clearly printed on American currency, and it has stopped violence throughout the country (robbers have noted that reading “In God we trust” on the money that they were stealing did nothing to stop them from stealing it).

I don’t want to make light of the terrorist tragedy that took 17 lives in Parkland, Fla., but I would like to make light of the lily-white responses coming from politicians since it happened. Seriously, this shit is playing out like a Flannery O’Connor short story in which the unredeemable could’ve been saved if they just had more Jesus.

Advertisement

Of course, because no one wants to vote against having more God in schools, the bill passed 97-10 in the House. It was also just a day after the state Legislature voted against a more commonsense measure to consider banning the sale of assault weapons. Also, CNN notes that on the same day that Florida refused to ban the sale of assault rifles, they pushed a measure that declared pornography to be a public health risk. Because, well, Florida.

Before the vote to include “In God we trust” in schools, Daniels made an impassioned plea that included referencing the 17 students and teachers who lost their lives in Parkland.

“God isn’t Republican and he’s not a Democrat,” she said. “He’s not black and he’s not white. He is the light. And our schools need light in them like never before.”

Advertisement

Jesus, save me.