Ever find yourself wondering why dating feels like a social exam most of us keep failing? Seriously, between the constant social media conversations and the horror stories in the group chat, it’s easy for one’s nerves to be shot to hell.
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Just think about it: Social media sees damn near everything as a red flag, so it leaves us wondering: what isn’t a red flag? We don’t have the answer…but we can talk about ones that are.
Dating red flags are subtle—but sometimes obvious—warning signs that someone’s behavior or interactions with a person of interest can lead to chaos, confusion, or heartbreak.
A man with a dangling cross-earring? Red flag.
A new love connection asking to move in after the second date? Red flag.
A pregnant woman going on a date with a person who didn’t father the child? Well, that’s just triflin’…and yes, still a red flag.
We’ve seen more red waving flags than the six we see at that amusement park that everyone hits after prom. Chances are you’ve gotten that text from a friend explaining how she turned down a first date at “The Cheesecake Factory” because it didn’t “fit her aesthetic.” Or maybe your homeboy is crashing out because his date didn’t want to go 50/50 on dinner. Jesus, please come down off the throne.
“Getting back into dating is wild,” content creator Jay Swift said in a video. “One red flag and I’m ghosting you, b***h.”
No, for real. We feel you, big homie.
One thing social media is good for is sharing their truths about dating “red flags.” In this video, a group of women list the lines that have them running for the hills: “Grand rising, Queen.” “Me and my baby mama ain’t together, I just live with her.” “My baby just turned one.” Let us laugh together because this is crazy but true.
Not only are red flags a thing, but people who work in certain industries are catching major heat, too. Comedian Nnena B. names three types to steer clear of: Military men, DJs, and even doctors are all walking red flags. Honestly, her reasoning has us in tears.
Even Aja, host of the “Hanging Out 4 Ever” podcast, has her own take, as she could never date a personal trainer.
“Personal trainers are an immediate red flag,” she said. “I was talking to somebody and I was like, ‘Oh my God, the guy I’m seeing right now — he’s so handsome, so this, so that.’”
“Girl, what does he do?” her friend asked.
“Oh, he’s a personal trainer,” Aja replied.
“Leave him,” the friend said.
She goes on to explain her friend’s theory as to why it’s a bad idea to date him. Though hilarious, can a guy make an honest living before catching stray bullets? Dang.
Social media chimed in on Aja’s podcast with their own takes: “Bare minimum effort,” one X user wrote about men. “Calling their ex ‘crazy,’” another added. One even flipped the script, saying, “It’s a red flag if she always gets defensive and never admits her mistakes.” Oop!
People couldn’t help but laugh and agree in the comments. What about the social cues that our family and friends see, but we don’t? Well, this creator helps point out a few red flags.
We know these red flags can be a lot, so we count on relationship coaches like Tisia to give us the rundown on spotting dating red flags, as she did in this video.
These red flags hit home for many who shared their own experiences in the comments.
“Had one telling me he loved me after two weeks of knowing me, and got mad because I wouldn’t say it back,” one TikTok user commented.
“Within two weeks he brought up marriage, babies, matching tattoos, meeting his family, taking vacations together, said ‘we’re soulmates’,” another wrote.
One made a very interesting observation, sharing, “Love bombing is a red flag.” And they’re right: It’s becoming more common for people to overwhelm you with excessive affection early on to gain emotional control. So you’ve got to keep your eyes open and your heart guarded.
We get it, dating is a lot, leaving many of us feeling like falling in love is a lost cause. But one Threads user said it beautifully: “Slow dating is key, so that you don’t fall in love with a fantasy, but you stay present with the reality.”
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