Lord, let me find somebody who loves me like Drake loves Drake.
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My solidly middle-class problems just started feeling real, real broke when I heard buzz that Drake, the Champagne Papi known for handing out caviar dreams to unsuspecting people on the street, decided to celebrate his Best Rap Song Grammy win (and himself, because he’s Drake) by buying himself a new iPhone case.
A phone case reportedly worth $400,000.
Customized with with his owl-based OVO logo, Hypebeast reports Drake commissioned the case from luxury jewelers Jason of Beverly Hills. Speaking with the site on Thursday, CEO Jason Arasheben gave the deets on the order, including Drake’s desire to cover his latest piece of tech with the very best.
“As soon as the new iPhone came out Drake reached out to me wanting to create something epic to add to his collection of jewels,” Arasheben said.
Hypebeast did the math, estimating that the case, which is 18k white gold, embedded with more than 80 carats of white and blue diamonds, and has been appraised at approximately $400,000, is worth 500 times more than the phone itself. We’re not even going to get into the fact that iPhone body designs never last more than two years. But I’m guessing these aren’t Champagne Papi problems.
Admittedly, I don’t stan for Drake (for reasons), but he has done some good works. With that in mind, I recently fell in love with a pre-war condo that costs $250,000, and I just know it’s God’s Plan for me to have it. Y’all know if there’s a convenient bench or mall that he frequents where I can post up with my laptop? I’ve got time—and a hotspot—and these middle-class problems ain’t gonna solve themselves.
Straight From 
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