Donald J. Trump furthered his argument for pettiest president of all time Saturday morning when he presumably woke up, ate some leftover KFC for breakfast, watched cartoons for a few minutes and, as he sat under the complex machinery that applies his wig and spray tan, decided that he didn’t want Stephen Curry at the White House.
Trump used his Vienna-sausage-like Twitter fingers to disinvite Golden State Warriors superstar Stephen Curry from the perfunctory trip to the White House usually made by the champions of the NBA.
That’s right. While you were sleeping—as the country stands on the brink of thermonuclear war; while affordable health care is about to be stripped from millions of Americans; as tornadoes, wildfires, earthquakes and Godzilla (no, wait, that’s Kanye) try to kill us—the president of the United Gotdayum States of America is up early starting Twitter beefs.
This can’t be life.
USA Today reports that Curry had this to say, earlier, about attending the White House: “I don’t want to go. That’s kind of the nucleus of my belief … (but) it’s not just me going to the White House. If it was, this would be a pretty short conversation.” When asked why he didn’t want to go and what message he would be sending, Curry added:
“That we don’t stand for basically what our President has – the things that he’s said and the things that he hasn’t said in the right times, that we won’t stand for it. And by acting and not going, hopefully that will inspire some change when it comes to what we tolerate in this country and what is accepted and what we turn a blind eye to. It’s not just the act of not going there. There are things you have to do on the back end to actually push that message into motion.
“(Athletes are) all trying to do what we can. We’re using our platorms, using our opportunities to shed light on that, so that’s kind of where I stand on it. I don’t think us not going to the White House is going to miraculously make everything better, but this is my opportunity to voice that.”
And I know you’re wondering how this all works. How Trump can disinvite Curry from the White House if he had already announced he wasn’t going. It’s like how you ask a certain girl out in college (oooh ... let’s just hypothetically say her name was Sharonda James) and she turns you down, so you say, “I didn’t like her that much anyway.” (You hear that, Sharonda? Don’t act like you don’t remember that time at the Delta cookout, Sharonda! You hurt me, girl. You hurt me bad!) Or maybe Trump doesn’t want to call the Warriors “world champions” because they haven’t beaten the great African team in Zambia.
Anyway, I understand Trump’s reasoning. Just this morning, I woke up early and disinvited Rihanna, the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes Prize Patrol and the Krispy Kreme delivery truck from my house.
... and Sharonda James.
She knows what she did.