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Your MCM was secretly engaging in personal relationships with three women on the timeline, lying to each of them, telling each of them lies about the other in an attempt to pit them against one another, all the while denying accountability for his actions by saying, “We were just talking.” He’s 33.

There are plenty of cautionary tales like this on the Twitter timeline, and they all follow a similar trend. Sometimes there are extra twists like a secret wife he never talked about, a horde of children he pretended not to have, a pallet on the floor in his mama’s basement he pretended not to be sleeping on. The details may change, but the cautionary tale remains the same.

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This is just one of them.

Magnolia, Gardenia and Lily (not their real names, of course) met through Jeremiah the Liar’s (not his real name, either) timeline. The three of them took an instant liking to one another and began mutually following and engaging on the timeline. Jokes and laughs were shared, memes passed along and good times had by all.

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Gardenia had known Jeremiah the Liar the longest. They had four years of “friendship” under their belt that began prior to her ever being on Twitter. He openly flirted with her and engaged in conversations of a sexual nature. He had expressed his attraction to her and the feeling was mutual, but she was never fully emotionally invested because, in her words, “something just didn’t seem right.”

Lily met Jeremiah the Liar next. They worked in the same creative field. They also had an attraction to each other. She gave him her phone number and they began texting each other frequently, sharing flirtatious messages as he had done with Gardenia. She thought he was a cool dude and a good friend.

Magnolia was the last to meet Jeremiah the Liar. She was completely unaware of his existence until he DM’d her one day. Their interactions were the slowest to get going, but once they did—it was full-court press. They talked every day for months.

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Separately, all three women started noticing little things about Jeremiah the Liar that just didn’t seem right.

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Gardenia realized that whenever she mentioned coming to visit him again, he always stalled her. Lily was taken aback when he got super upset for no apparent reason after she made the sweet gesture of surprising him with a giant bag of his favorite candy in the mail. Magnolia couldn’t understand why he never seemed to be able to take time off from work to do anything. It was all very odd.

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All three noticed that while he was super open about a great many things, he was very secretive about others.

Something wasn’t right.

As luck would have it, the three women were all members of a topical group chat. Magnolia was talking in the chat about another male friend of hers, and she mentioned Jeremiah the Liar’s name. Both Gardenia and Lily immediately spoke up and said they both thought he was full of shit.

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The three women spent the next several hours comparing notes. Several things came to light:

  • Through a lie of omission, Jeremiah the Liar had deceived all three women about a very important fact of his life—something that would have made a huge difference in the way all three women dealt with him.
  • At some point the women noticed that the level of flirtation Jeremiah was using to engage with each of them had more than a hint of sexual tension, and they called him on it.
  • Over the last few months, he had spent a great amount of effort denying any wrongdoing, while still trying to pit the three women against one another. He told Magnolia that he was not involved with Lily and she was making sexual jokes with him on the timeline out of “nowhere.” He told Gardenia that Magnolia was forcing him to choose between the two of them. He told Lily that he only talked to Magnolia about business, and there was nothing else between them.
  • He repeatedly ran between the three women dropping nuggets of incendiary gossip of the “she said, she said” type in what the women imagine was an attempt to make them openly fight over him. No one took the bait.
  • In case that last part was too long or unclear, Jeremiah the Liar is basically a messy bitch who lives for drama.
  • Nothing about how this fraud presented himself either online or in their private conversations was real—not even his name.

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Magnolia was the first to confront him with the truth. He told her that unlike with her, the conversations he had with the other two women were “trivial” and didn’t extend beyond texting here and there. He wasn’t as into them as he was her, and he didn’t see his relationships with them as being real.

Magnolia told him that he was full of shit. She told him that he was wild and reckless and that he needed to talk to the other two women and be honest about what he had been doing. She told him he needed to own it. He “apologized” and said he would.

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He called Gardenia later that night and told her that of the three women, she was the one he had been the most honest with. She knew more of his truth than the other two did. He apologized to her for being “wild and reckless.” He didn’t mean for that to happen.

Gardenia told him that his behavior was pathological and he needed to seek help. Then she hung up on him.

The next morning, Jeremiah the Liar called Lily. He told her that he had apologized to both Gardenia and Magnolia. She openly confronted him about the personal information the three women had discovered about him. He admitted to some of it, then asked her why he couldn’t decide what personal information he shared with people online.

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“It ceased being an online conversation when you moved it off of Twitter and onto our phones,” she advised him.

Jeremiah the Liar played the victim and told her he was just trying to apologize. He said he would understand if none of them ever talked to him again. He didn’t mean for any of this to happen.

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The three women decided as a group to go against normal Twitter protocol. They would not expose him or air him out on the timeline. None of them wanted to be part of a messy Twitter drama saga, and none of them wanted harm to come to the innocent people who could be collateral damage if they were to do such a thing.

He was spared the embarrassment.

The moral of the story is, as I said earlier, this is a very common occurrence on Twitter. There are plenty of men who are single on the timeline and married in real life. Single on the timeline with a girlfriend hiding in the wings. Single on the timeline and engaging in extensive private conversations with multiple women behind the scenes, none of whom know about the others.

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It’s messy. Their lack of honesty often leads to multiple people getting hurt.

The reasons they do this are many. Some, like SpongeBob Pajama Pants, have low self-esteem and get off on the idea of multiple women wanting them. Some are just bored and looking for the attention they aren’t getting in their real life. Some are emotionally manipulative, egocentric assholes who thrive on this type of behavior.

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All are emotionally immature boys in man bodies who don’t think far enough to realize how their actions impact the real-life people on the other side of those interactions.

So, ladies, pay attention. Look for the signs. If something seems like it’s not right, it probably isn’t. If he seems too secretive or you believe that he is withholding information, approach with caution.

Don’t let yourself be the next Magnolia, Gardenia or Lily.

Beware of the lying Twitter man-whore.