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Why White People Feel Oppressed, Explained
As our y’all’s Commander colluder-in-chief prepares for his first official vacation (even though he has taken more days off than any recent president, but you know how lazy those people can be), only days after announcing his new Clorox Immigration Plan, the Justice Department’s Jim Crow Affirmative Action Policy and the Muslim Friends and Family…
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An Ode to the Blackest Fruit of All Time
I am not afraid of stereotypes. I know that many of them are rooted in racism and false perception, but I do not concern myself with that. I embrace them. They are funny to me. When a white man says, “Black people are lazy,” all I hear in my head is, “Watch me outwork this…
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Damn … Damn … Dayumm! Jimmie Walker Tells Fox News He Loves Trump, Bill Maher and Ronald Reagan
Before we begin this article, I need to reveal that a few weeks ago, I swore a solemn oath to the gods of hot sauce and ankle lotion that I would never publicly refer to a black person as a “coon.” I didn’t know I would be tested this soon. This morning started off great.…
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Trump’s Favorite News Outlet Is Not Who You Think … and You Should Be Worried
What if Breitbart and Fox News had a couple of babies? What if they grew up to be a cool, slicker version of their parents and started becoming more powerful? Imagine if the young FoxBarts branded themselves as mainstream sources, but instead of courting “alt-right” white males and older conservatives, they focused their efforts on…
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It’s Official: White Allies Are the Worst Wypipo in the World
Today we celebrate the winner of the 2017 World Wypipo Tournament. While many worthy competitors stepped into the arena for a chance at fame, glory and dishonor, there could be only one champion. This year, one great team rose above them all. One lone competitor entered the fray and emerged more despicable than the rest.…
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Someone Trolled Me With Racist Emails for a Week, and It Brought Me So Much Joy!
A few weeks ago, we began the inaugural Wypipo World Tournament that pitted the worst wypipo in the world against one another. When this idea first emerged, there was a very intense meeting that ended—as most meetings at The Root do—with, “OK, Mike, you piss wypipo off all the time. You do it.” I didn’t…
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A Conference Asked Hackers to See Which Voting Machines Could Be Breached: They Hacked All of Them
We might as well face it, y’all—they stole the election. If you didn’t believe it after the secret Russian house party with Donald Trump’s son (the dumb one, not the neo-Nazi one), the Paul Manafort canceled checks, Jeff Sessions and the Russian ambassador becoming “friends with benefits,” or Trump and Putin making out in the…
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Amazon Is Also Making a Civil War Alt-History Series, but It’s for Us, by Us
Even before HBO thought it was a great idea to have two white men explain how 400 years of slavery was horrible by imagining a modern-day version of it, Amazon.com had its own alternative-history series in the works. Deadline reports that Aaron McGruder, the creator of the Peabody Award-winning animated series The Boondocks, has been…
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The 2017 World Wypipo Tournament, Final Round: Who Is the Worst of the Worst?
Ladies and gentlemen, today we come to you from historic Shea Moisture Coliseum to bring you the championship matchup of the first-ever World Wypipo Tournament. Over the course of this single-elimination tournament, we have watched some of the greatest Caucasian competitors from around the globe fight for wypipo supremacy. Sixty-four hopeful teams entered this epic…
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Congratulations, Black Women! Today, You Finally Caught Up to White Men … Kinda
If the average black woman saved all her pay from 2016 and combined it with every penny she had earned through July 2017, the total would equal just what the average white man earned in 2016 alone. July 31 is Black Women’s Equal Pay Day. According to the Economic Policy Institute—a nonpartisan think tank focused…
