Photo: Alex Wong (Getty Images)

On Monday, U.S. Attorney General Jeff Sessions, the biggest elf to ever do it, just created a “religious liberty task force,” which sounds like a villainous superhero group that gets real close to you and asks if you know Jesus.

Seriously, though, the task force sounds great if it were put in place to stop people from defacing mosques or destroying synagogues, except Jeff Sessions is a Southerner who hates “wacky tabacky” and therefore his task force, co-chaired by Associate Attorney General Jesse Panuccio and the assistant attorney general for the Justice Department’s Office of Legal Policy, Beth Williams, is literally just an ordinance to protect Christianity.

Advertisement

According to The Hill, the group’s “protection of religious liberty” and “political speech” is a just an offshoot of President Trump’s executive order to protect Jesus precious white feelings Christian religious beliefs.

The task force will “ensure all Justice Department components are upholding that guidance in the cases they bring and defend, the arguments they make in court, the policies and regulations they adopt and how we conduct our operations.”

According to Sessions, “the cultural climate in this country—and in the West more generally—has become less hospitable to people of faith in recent years,” the Hill reports. Sessions also noted that many Americans have felt under attack for practicing their religion.

Advertisement

Which sounds great and hopefully this message will spread throughout the White House so that they can stop collectively demonizing Islam. Once this religious super group is formed, I’d expect all people to be able to practice their religions freely ...

My editor Angela Helm: He’s talking about white people.

Me: Wait, what?

AH: He’s taking up for white religion.

Me: But when where they ever under attack?

“We’ve seen nuns ordered to buy contraceptives. We’ve seen U.S. senators ask judicial and executive branch nominees about dogma—even though the Constitution explicitly forbids a religious test for public office. We’ve all seen the ordeal faced so bravely by Jack Phillips,” said Sessions, referring to the Colorado baker who refused to make a same-sex wedding cake and the Supreme Court said he didn’t have to.

Advertisement

“In short, we have not only the freedom to worship—but the right to exercise our faith. The Constitution’s protections don’t end at the parish parking lot nor can our freedoms be confined to our basements,” he said.

Sessions’ task force will work to allow people of faith to act or abstain from certain actions and adds “that government shouldn’t impugn people’s motives or beliefs,” the Hill reports.

Hmmm, it’s great to see that America will no longer have to hide its racism and xenophobia and can practice it fully out in the open under the guise of religion, which will now be fully supported by America’s top cop who is openly deplorable.

Advertisement

Just great.