New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo Is an Asshole and His Fake Apology Proves It

Illustration for article titled New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo Is an Asshole and His Fake Apology Proves It
Photo: David Dee Delgado (Getty Images)

As it stands, two women who worked for New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo have accused him of sexual harassment and this might be the undoing of the Italian with the chin divot who still hasn’t told us what the fuck happened to the residents in nursing homes who died of coronavirus because he’s an asshole.


The Root’s former newswriter Anne Branigin explained all of the fuck shit Cuomo was do during the pandemic before we learned that he’d fucked over nursing home residents and was allegedly “inappropriate” with employees in her piece aptly titled:

As mounting criticism continues to follow Cuomo and speculation abounds, Cuomo did that thing that assholes do, which is issue an apology that isn’t really an apology. You know the kind of apology that says “Hey, sorry about your foot, which was in the street when I was driving and if it’s broken, then I’m sorry about that.”

I’ll let you judge for yourself:

“I now understand that my interactions may have been insensitive or too personal and that some of my comments, given my position, made others feel in ways I never intended. I acknowledge some of the things I have said have been misinterpreted as an unwanted flirtation. To the extent anyone felt that way, I am truly sorry about that,” he said, the Associated Press reports.

This may be Cuomo’s undoing, but fuck this guy. He’s the white guy at the Black table in the cafeteria that thinks he can drop “nigga” because he’s Italian and his skin gets darker in the sun, too!

No, this nigga really dropped “nigger” with the hardest of “Rs” during a radio interview because he’s too comfortable.


This asshole isn’t just involved in a sexual harassment scandal; he’s also gone from being a pandemic hero to a COVID-19 flop as it now appears he totally fucked up the handling of the coronavirus, including doing all kinds of outrageously bogus shit like requiring “nursing homes to accept COVID-19-positive patients when New York’s hospitals were overflowing,” and then hiding data about the total number of deaths at nursing homes.

But you know what’s about to happen to Cuomo? He’s about to be screwed because you know who’s investigating all of his alleged sexual harassment? Tish is coming! (Said in the corner boy voice from The Wire). That’s right, New York Attorney General Letitia James will control the inquiry into allegations that Cuomo was the workplace creeper.


“This is not a responsibility we take lightly,” James said, AP reports.

James and other leading party officials have already rejected two of Cuomo’s proposals for how an investigation might proceed.


From AP:

Under his first plan, a retired federal judge picked by Cuomo, Barbara Jones, would have reviewed his workplace behavior. In the second proposal, announced Sunday morning in an attempt to appease legislative leaders, Cuomo asked James and the state’s chief appeals court judge, Janet DiFiore, to jointly appoint a lawyer to investigate and issue a public report.

James rejected both plans, demanding a formal referral giving her office authority to subpoena documents and witness testimony.


Oh, and about those jokes that Cuomo said he made that may have been misinterpreted, here’s one and tell me if you can find the punchline.

Also from AP:

Charlotte Bennett, a low-level aide in the governor’s administration until November, told The New York Times Cuomo asked questions about her sex life, including whether she ever had sex with older men, and made other comments she interpreted as gauging her interest in an affair.


Yeah, cringy AF.

Cuomo is 63 and Bennett is 25.

Lindsey Boylan, a former economic development adviser, and the first to come forward with claims against Cuomo, said that in December that Cuomo forced an unwanted kiss on her and made comments about his appearance.


Cuomo has denied Boylan’s allegations.

Of course he would because that’s what assholes do.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.



Before all the greys get too excited, we are ALL FINE WITH HIM BEING FUCKING GONE. Everyone is replaceable, we don’t need to keep trash like this hanging out. I know Republicans make excuses and excuses for their people for some reason no one with any sense can fathom (it’s because every Republican is a terrible person), but we’re fine getting rid of people who do shit like this.

What about Clinton? Fuck him, too. Go get him.