GTFOH Trump Watch: The Trump and Rudy Show Hit the Road

Illustration for article titled GTFOH Trump Watch: The Trump and Rudy Show Hit the Road
Photo: Drew Angerer (Getty Images)

In what can only be described as a vaudevillian act of racist proportions, President Donald Trump and Rudy Giuliani, the dumber to the president’s dumb, are allegedly traveling to Pennsylvania on Wednesday for a meeting about election impropriety that didn’t happen.

According to Bloomberg, Trump’s visit, which was reportedly confirmed by three separate sources, was not on his public schedule, but we all know that Trump is a fly-by-the-seat-of-his-elastic-waistband kind of guy. The president is supposed to make an appearance alongside Giuliani, the racist Ethel to the president’s racist Lucy, for his continued wasted effort to try and reverse election results.

For the record, President-elect Joe Biden won the state by more than 80,000 votes, but that hasn’t stopped Trump supporters from claiming all kinds of outlandish shit to try and swing the election in their favor. The argument, or lack thereof, is to claim that observers weren’t allowed to be closer to workers who were counting the ballots.

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From Bloomberg:

Still, Mr. Trump has publicly struggled to accept his election loss, only this week agreeing to give Mr. Biden’s team access to government resources as part of the transition process. And he’s sought to appeal to lawmakers in Republican-controlled state governments to refuse to certify results that show him losing to the former vice president.

Last week, he invited Michigan Senate Majority Leader Mike Shirkey and House Speaker Lee Chatfield, both Republicans, to the White House. But they issued a joint statement after their meeting with Mr. Trump saying they had “not yet been made aware of any information that would change the outcome of the election in Michigan.”

Those efforts also fell short in Georgia and Nevada. And Pennsylvania Gov. Tom Wolf, a Democrat, announced Tuesday that his state had certified the results and appointed representatives to the Electoral College.

All of this is a show at this point, and not even a fun show, just a continued display of whiteness whining about not winning. Basically, it’s just Silver Spoons without Alfonso Ribeiro and way more hair dye.

Wednesday’s event will have opening statements and even witnesses who will claim election fraud! And if that doesn’t float your boat, Giuliani is going to say something. It will probably be lies but after his face-melting, brown liquid fiasco, Giuliani has become must-see TV.

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“It’s in everyone’s interest to have a full vetting of election irregularities and fraud,” Giuliani said in a statement, Bloomberg reports. “And the only way to do this is with public hearings, complete with witnesses, videos, pictures and other evidence of illegalities from the November 3rd election.”

Pennsylvania State Sen. Doug Mastriano told Bloomberg that he requested the public hearing because voters in his state “lost faith in the electoral system.”

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“Over the past few weeks, I have heard from thousands of Pennsylvanians regarding issues experienced at the polls, irregularities with the mail-in voting system and concerns whether their vote was counted,” Mastriano said in a statement. “We need to correct these issues to restore faith in our republic.”

Yes, and the best way to do this is to invite the less smart and racist Dr. Frankenstien and his sidekick and personal lawyer Igor onto a public stage so they can perform the mime act of stealing an election without any proof.

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First the Turkey and Now Michael Flynn

I watched the turkey pardoning. I did. I’m not ashamed or embarrassed. I only watched for one reason: mayhem. It’s what the entire Trump presidency has been based on. I fully expected to tune in on Tuesday and see Trump rip the head off the turkey and then smear his face with blood before being hauled away by the Secret Service.

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But alas, he pardoned the turkey, a weak ending to a tumultuous presidency. King Joffrey Baratheon would be ashamed.

Well, it looks like Trump is on a pardoning spree as he reportedly pardoned a tree, two golf balls and South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham on his way back to his sleeping coffin. He’s also reportedly planning to pardon “former national security adviser Michael Flynn, who pleaded guilty in December 2017 to lying to the FBI about his Russian contacts,” according to Axios.

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Flynn didn’t last long in the White House as resigned only three weeks into the job after lying about his contacts with Russians.

“He pleaded guilty in late 2017 to lying to the FBI about those contacts, but later disavowed his plea and tried to get the case thrown out. In a shocking twist this spring, the Justice Department abandoned the case, which is still tied up in legal limbo,” CNN reports.

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And who didn’t see this coming? I fully expect Trump to pardon the devil’s necktie, also known as candy corn, for being the most offensive Halloween candy next to black licorice, which is just slave candy. Trump will also be pardoning Kawhi Leonard’s New Balance sneakers, all of Tyga’s music and white women who wear pajamas outside of the house.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.

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DISCUSSION

eugene-s-huckleberry-esq
TheRealDealWithBillMcNeal

Can someone throw all of his shit out on the street while he’s away from the White House? Just take this opportunity to evict his ass right now.