WTF was Mike Pence doing there? No, seriously. What in the hell was the outgoing vice president doing at Trump’s 90-seconds press conference when people from his home planet of Abstinencia were trying to reach him out in Utah?
Much like Melania before him, Pence needs to call “ballgame” and go ahead and head home. Yet, there he was, up on stage behind the president, looking both goofy and robotic as ever during the president’s press briefing, which lasted all of a minute and a half.
I bet you can’t guess what the president said. Not the exact words but the sentiment. If you had “Trump praising himself for some shit he did,” then you are right. Trump took to the lectern to pat himself on the back for raising the economy that he tanked. See how that works? He’s like the person who sets the fire and then poses in photos as one of the heroes who helped put it out. But this is what happens when you are struggling for actual victories: You’ll take anything that looks like a victory because what else are you going to do?
So here’s the long and short of it: The president wouldn’t hand over the reins of the presidency to President-elect Joe Biden so, because the country was looking shaky AF, the Dow fell. Then the president allowed Biden to have his things and the Dow rebounded. See how that works?
“I just want to congratulate everybody. The stock market, Dow Jones Industrial Average just hit 30,000, which is the highest in history,” Trump said in the briefing room.
“We’ve never broken 30,000, and that’s despite everything that’s taken place with the pandemic.”
“The stock market’s just broken 30,000 — never been broken, that number. That’s a sacred number, 30,000, and nobody thought they’d ever see it,” Trump said.
“I just want to congratulate all the people within the administration that worked so hard, and most importantly I want to congratulate the people of our country, because there are no people like you. Thank you very much, everybody. Thank you.”
So the president held a whole minute-and-a-half press conference to say, “Look at me, look at how great I am!” but no one cares because everyone was busy trying to figure out if Pence was going to be beamed straight out of the White House, because how else is he going to get home?