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Social Studies: These Are a Few of My Least Favorite (White) Things

Illustration for article titled Social Studies: These Are a Few of My Least Favorite (White) Things
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Social StudiesThe Root's Social Studies is a daily, curated, one-stop shop for all the funny, relevant and important content that should be trending on social media.

Gun nuts and Karens with unseasoned chicken
Producing white tears whenever racism’s mentioned
Twerking in booty shorts made from cutoff mom jeans
These are a few of my least fav’rite white things!

Saying “all lives matter” while tongue-kissing poodles
But when cops kill us, it’s just business as usual.
They actually believe that Bob Dylan can sing
These are a few of my least fav’rite white things!

Dialing 911 just to send us a message
Using more illegal drugs while we get arrested
Actually believing black on black crime is a thing
These are a few of my least fav’rite white things!

On social media
white people weep
Mentioning racism makes them mad
But if you remember your least favorite white things
Then you won’t feel so bad

Fox News and Beckys and racist-ass MAGAts
Recipes for chocolate chip potato salad
I can’t list them all if I don’t want to scream
But here are few more of my least fav’rite white things

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By now, everyone has seen this clip:

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While everyone has rightfully condemned this woman for her dangerous cop-calling antics, the most interesting part of the video to me is how few people willingly acknowledged that had the cops shown up, the black man’s life could have been in danger.

Can you imagine how fucked up it is to live in a society where a white woman’s tears take precedent over an innocent black man’s word? If researchers gathered a group of people and asked them to imagine the least dangerous man in the world, I would every single one of them would choose the box marked: “Bird watcher in a city park who’s afraid of an unleashed cocker spaniel.”

Is there anything less offensive than birdwatching? This nigga’s eyes were literally on the sparrow!

Luckily, people on white twitter took action and called the authorities...

The pet authorities.

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Thankfully, the dog was rescued from the woman who rescued the dog.

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But she may not have even been the worst Karen of the weekend:

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Or was it these women?

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These women are actually not Karens, they’re actually Beckies.

How about this woman?

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Well, she makes a compelling case, especially when you read this excerpt from the Miami Herald:

It was Thursday night when Ripley called police with a dramatic and bizarre tale: A light-blue car forced her car off the road near a West Kendall Home Depot. Two black men were inside. One of men jumped out, she told Miami-Dade police, and demanded drugs.

When she told them she didn’t have any, the man — armed with a knife — took the child, her cell phone and a tablet and drove off.

A statewide Amber Alert was issued for the child but it was canceled Friday morning when the boy’s body was found at the golf canal.

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I never understood why white women do this. Where is this illegal black market for white babies? I don’t know if its the economic downturn, mass shootings or the fact that white babies wear diapers until they’re 11 or 12, but the trade-in value on used white babies has dropped tremendously over the last few years.

However, she is not the worst Karen.

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And after a man pleaded with Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey to delete Trump’s harmful tweets about the man’s dead wife, Donald Trump re-upped:

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Donald Trump is the worst Karen on the internet.


However, other social media users were quick to point out their least favorite white things:

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Like white “pranks”:

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Blaccents:

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I’ve never heard a Doja Cat song but I’m told she is very popular amongst the people who like Doja Cat.

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Ruining TV shows:

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Or the air:

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Or news articles:

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But of course, here on Social Studies, we always like a happy ending, so here is one of my favorite black things:

World-renowned wypipologist. Getter and doer of "it." Never reneged, never will. Last real negus alive.

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DISCUSSION

detroitkidelo
kidelo *if you support racists, you're a racist too*

Michael, I’m going to share this again because I can’t believe you didn’t.* White Karen/Barb tries to privilege her way out of an $80 ticket, gets TASED and arrested.

Somebody find the original video so we can have it inline, please!

*I know it isn’t Black News, but can we have a subcategory of Black Schadenfreude?