Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner Are Both Full of Shit

Illustration for article titled Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner Are Both Full of Shit
Photo: Mandel NGAN (Getty Images)

For some reason—maybe it’s proximity to the president, maybe it’s because Trump’s sons have been such a disappointment, maybe it’s because Trump just wants to see them win—both Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner have been forced down America’s throats. Think of them as America’s own bizarro version of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle if Prince Harry were a failed cruisewear designer and Meghan was a slumlord millionaire.


Nevertheless they have risen to power by being the president’s child and her plus one, and we, in turn, are forced to deal with them. It’s annoying that no one in America voted them into office and yet, here they are, like a perpetual “bring your children to work” day.

So while Jared was busy being on all these coronavirus task forces and Ivanka was busy making coronavirus ASMR porn—no, seriously, listen to her talk about social distancing in the worst phone porn voice ever—it turns out that both of them were fucking ignoring shelter-in-place rules and spent the Passover holiday at Trump’s golf resort in New Jersey horse country.

And this was during the time that Ivanka was busy telling the country that wearing masks was a good start but that there was, “There’s no substitute for social distancing!” Ivanka wrote on Twitter the official record of the Trump administration, the New York Daily News reports.

The couple didn’t just ignore her dad; they ignored federal restrictions that prevent travel unless it’s essential, and Washington, D.C. Mayor Muriel Bowser’s “stay-at-home order, which was issued March 30 and ordered residents of D.C., which include the couple, to stay at home unless they are performing ‘essential activities’ such as ‘obtaining medical care’ or are performing ‘essential governmental functions’ or ‘allowable recreational activities’ such as “walking, hiking, running, dog-walking...”

To be fair, Muriel Bowser is a black woman and the Trump family has a history of ignoring or disrespecting black women. The Daily News notes that these idiots took a trip even as the first daughter was telling everyone to stay inside.


Ivanka, also known around the White House as the angel on Trump’s fat shoulder, failed to mention that she and her family had no intention of following any of that shit because they aren’t the peasants that they preach to.


From the Daily News:

Ivanka and the couple’s children remain at the golf club, which is closed to the public, through the end of the holiday Thursday night. Kushner, a top Trump adviser, returned to the White House earlier.

Jews around the world made major sacrifices this year to limit family gatherings and seders over Passover, which celebrates Jews’ escape from slavery in Egypt.

Many held so-called ‘Zoom seders’ to avoid in-person gatherings with vulnerable relatives who could spread the virus.

The White House insisted that the jaunt was 100% kosher. It called the Trump golf club the equivalent of a private home for Ivanka and therefore going there did not violate the rules.

Jared Kushner is a practicing Orthodox Jew and Ivanka Trump converted to the faith when they got married.


I don’t know anything about Ivanka’s conversion, so I can’t speak to whether it was fake or not, but I know that both she and her husband are continuously full of shit. I, much like the rest of America, are so over them. I would be perfectly fine with quarantining them for the rest of the president’s short time in office.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.


kidelo (i have a tiktok)

Hold on now. You know the rules don’t apply to Princess Ivanka, first of her name, creator of 15m jobs! Pegger of Jared and daddy’s forbidden fantasy! Lo, admire her many works! She doth shod and clothe the tacky! Her wisdom doth bring great smiles to leaders ‘round the globe! If there is a chair absent her father’s great behind, she can warm it!

And Jared! Lo, if there be a problem, he can solve it! Check out the beats while the DJ revolves it!