Watch: Nancy Pelosi Dry Snitches on Trump’s Alleged Drug Use

Illustration for article titled Watch: Nancy Pelosi Dry Snitches on Trump’s Alleged Drug Use
Photo: Alex Wong (Getty Images)

It’s at these times when I find it best to quote Grecian philosopher Joseph Guillermo Jones II, colloquially known as Jim Jones, from his epic meter, which I’m paraphrasing, but it goes something like:

G’s up nigga (G’s up), ho’s down (ho’s down)

If Trump can’t swim he gon’ drown (he gon’ drown)

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi is showing President Trump what happens when you try to swim with the big petty fishes. It’s deep water out there and only Trump can save himself.

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On Thursday, Pelosi suggested that her handshake was to “extend a hand of friendship,” before Trump’s State of the Union address on Monday. And then the California Democrat suggested that Trump might have been high as a giraffe’s ass.

“It was also an act of kindness because he looked to me like he was a little sedated,” Pelosi told reporters. She added, “He looked that way last year, too.”

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Goddamn, that woman is cold AF.

Now, if she could just stop being jealous of “The Squad” for being young and fly as fuck, then I would have no problem fully embracing her level of petty.

The Washington Examiner (I know, I know, but I fact checked the fuck out of this quote and they are right) notes that “Obama White House spokesman Josh Earnest once said Trump ‘snorted his way’ through some of the debates during his 2016 campaign. Ernest later said he was joking.”

And comedian Noel Casler, who worked on the set of The Apprentice, claimed that Trump was addicted to Adderall and had trouble reading.

Trump is now in the deep end of the petty pool. The gloves are off and the stakes are higher but not as high as Trump was during that SOTU!

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Boo-yowwwwwww.

Let’s be clear, Pelosi didn’t win the impeachment war but she sure tore the fuck out of Trump’s State of the Union speech, and because Pelosi knows that Trump has trouble reading big words, she took a second to knock his reading skills, noting that she tore the speech up after she used her speed-reading skills to read the speech quickly.

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Watch the glorious takedown below:

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.

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DISCUSSION

So what’s the new plan? Bully him till he says something (else) reprehensible?

Cause I'm down with that.