Trump Threatens to Get His Cousins If Democrats Keep Threatening Impeachment

Illustration for article titled Trump Threatens to Get His Cousins If Democrats Keep Threatening Impeachment
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President Donald Trump is doing the preemptive threatening thing that he does when he’s not making up nicknames for congressional members or kicking Rep. Devin Nunes (R-Calif.) in the back of the knee and watching him buckle. This time, the president is threatening to go to the Supreme Court, where he put Neil Gorsuch and Brett “I Like Beer” Kavanaugh, if Democrats look to impeach his lying, Russian-stuffed ass.


“The Mueller Report, despite being written by Angry Democrats and Trump Haters, and with unlimited money behind it ($35,000,000), didn’t lay a glove on me. I DID NOTHING WRONG,” Trump tweeted Wednesday morning, USA Today reports. From his use of random capitalization, we know that these tweets were officially written by Trump.

Trump is worried Democrats are going to use the findings from special counsel Robert Mueller’s Russia investigation to bounce his ass from the White House, but like cockroaches or family members who don’t know when they’ve overstayed their welcome, Trump won’t leave. For some reason, and possibly because Trump believes that he’s a dictator, he thinks that the Supreme Court is his personal court set to take up issues that annoy him.

The president added that “if the partisan Dems ever tried to Impeach, I would first head to the U.S. Supreme Court,” Trump tweeted. “Not only are there no ‘High Crimes and Misdemeanors,’ there are no Crimes by me at all,” and he continued his normal missive of blaming Democrats and, you guessed it, Hillary Clinton.

From USA Today:

The release of Mueller’s report prompted outrage among Democrats and stirred a debate over whether to consider articles of impeachment against Trump. The 448-page report detailed multiple contacts between Trump campaign associates and Russian operatives but said there was not evidence that it amounted to a criminal conspiracy. The report documented a series of actions by Trump to derail the special counsel’s investigation and lying by associates over their Russia contacts, but it did not reach a conclusion on whether obstruction of justice occurred.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and other Democratic leaders sought to tamp down talk of impeaching Trump in the run-up to the Mueller report’s release. They argued that voters want the party to focus more on issues like healthcare and jobs that directly affect them.

But in the days since a redacted version of the Mueller report was made public, a growing number of Democrats have raised the possibility of impeachment. Pelosi has said the House will focus on fact finding first and has left impeachment on the table if the facts lead there.


What Trump doesn’t understand is that just because he appointed two white men to the Supreme Court, that doesn’t mean they owe him any favors. Impeachment is a political process that plays out in Congress, not the Supreme Court, which most likely wouldn’t challenge it.

“The Mueller report paints a picture of Trump constantly told by aides, lawyers, and other officials that much of what he did was wrong,” tweeted Renato Mariotti, a former federal prosecutor, USA Today reports. “As this tweet makes clear, he has learned nothing.”


Trump’s worried because he’s under several congressional investigations that are trying to look into all things Trump-related, from the Mueller report to Trump’s taxes and security clearances, and the president is feeling the pressure of it all.

“Congress has no time to legislate,” Trump said at one point, “they only want to continue the Witch Hunt, which I have already won.”


As it stands, Trump’s minions are trying to prevent former White House counsel Don McGahn from testifying before Congress, which might even include invoking executive privilege to stop McGahn from speaking his truth.

And everyone in the Trump administration is working tirelessly to keep his taxes from going public. As it stands, the Treasury Department has delayed a request for Trump’s tax records until May 6 while they can come up with more reasons not to comply with a House committee’s request for Trump’s taxes.


Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin, who is absolutely full of shit, is Trump’s front man in keeping his taxes safely away from Congress.


The White House has also worked to keep former personnel security director Carl Kline from appearing before the House Committee on Oversight and Reform, which is investigating problems with security clearances granted to some officials at the White House, USA Today reports.

Basically, the Trump administration is corrupt AF and the same rule applies from the time that Trump took office—if he’s preemptive tweeting then the Russian collusion, tax return, security clearance walls are closing in.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.


I’m still putting my money on Team Natural Causes 2020.