In an Attempt to Help America, the Earth Tries to Swallow Up Trump’s White House

Illustration for article titled In an Attempt to Help America, the Earth Tries to Swallow Up Trump’s White House
Photo: Alex Wong (Getty Images)

A secret Russian tunnel has been found under the White House lawn ...

Editor: It isn’t a Russian tunnel.

Fine, the devil’s portal ...

Editor: Nope.

A hobbit hole?

Editor: Whatever.

A sinkhole (possibly made by the devil or a hobbit) has appeared on the White House’s North Lawn, and if we are lucky, said sinkhole that is not the work of the devil or Russian operatives will sink the entire White House.


The dumbass president has already attempted to knock golf balls in it.


According to The Hill, the hole (which may or may not be a secret portal to Russia) was first discovered by Voice of America’s Steve Herman and Breitbart’s Charlie Spiering, both of whom shared photos of the Earth’s attempt at destroying this disastrous White House. Both reporters noted that the sinkhole (which is actually this administration’s stripper name) was located outside the entrance to the briefing room.


The Hill reached out to the White House to find out how it planned to fix the sinkhole, to which the White House responded that it would fire special counselor Robert Mueller.

Fine, the White House didn’t respond, but clearly the Earth is getting tired of this administration’s shit.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.

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The sinkhole, apparently, is moving as fast as R. Mueller Esq.