What Not to Do With Your Black Family This Thanksgiving

It’s almost Thanksgiving– a time to remember what (and who) you’re thankful for, and a time to gather with loved ones. As the tides of Thanksgiving shift, with people charging restaurant prices to sit on folded chairs in their living rooms, having the audacity to replace sweet potato pie with pumpkin pie, and turning everyday moments into TikTok dance breaks, we’d like to remind you of what not to do at Thanksgiving dinner. Buckle up!

Don’t Show Up Empty-Handed

For one: it’s tacky. And for two: at your big age, you should know better than to walk into someone’s home empty-handed. If you can’t cook, bring something easy like dinner rolls, a variety of beverages, or a couple of bottles of wine. Your mere presence is not the contribution you think it is.

Don’t Bring an Unapproved Plus-One

Unless you want to make it incredibly awkward for your guests, don’t show up with someone no one knows, especially without checking with the host first. And if it’s a “special friend,” don’t even think about it if the last person you brought was related to someone else in attendance. That’s just messy.

Don’t Fix a Plate Before the Elders

I don’t care how long it’s been since you’ve eaten. Grandmas, aunties, uncles and all the elders eat first. No discussion.

Don’t Bring Your Experimental Dish

It may be intriguing to try something new, but if it goes wrong, they will talk about you… real bad. Thanksgiving is not the time to conduct text kitchen experimentation. Unless someone specifically asked for it, leave your vegan mac and cheese and gluten-free cornbread at home.

Don’t Skip the Allergen Labels

Just because you don’t have allergies doesn’t mean someone else at dinner doesn’t. Whether it’s nuts, shellfish, wheat or pork, just stick a label on the dish so dinner doesn’t turn into a family ER visit.

Don’t Talk About Politics

We know– there is so much to talk about these days, but don’t assume everyone shares your same political beliefs. Your favorite cousin’s response might leave a bad taste in your mouth that’s worse than the dry turkey you’re already struggling to choke down.

Don’t Ghost the Host

You came, you ate, you enjoyed yourself. Now, show the host some courtesy and help clean up. Empty the garbage, help with the dishes, wipe the table or a counter— do something considerate before parking your behind on the couch for football or an “itis” nap.

Don’t Fix Your To-Go Plate Too Soon

Leftovers are a highlight when the food is good. But don’t break out your containers or pull out the foil until everyone has made their plate. Show some couth, or you could be dragged for many holidays to come.

Don’t Take Back What You Brought

Once you put it on the table, it’s community property. Unless, of course, it’s untouched. That means no one wanted it, so go ahead and make that walk of shame back to the car with the dish in tow.

Don’t Be on Your Phone the Whole Time

Laugh now, scroll later. Don’t be that person who spends dinner texting and scrolling when you could be making real-life memories. Put the phone down long enough to appreciate the moment or risk having it smacked away by someone who’s had enough.

Don’t Cuss at the Table

There are times when profanity is more acceptable (like during a not-so-friendly game of Spades or Uno), but “Who made this dry a– turkey” is a conversation better suited for the car ride home, not the dinner table.

Don’t Bring Your Furbaby

“Biggie” may be like family to you, but someone may be scared of him, allergic or simply uninterested in sharing a dining space with your shedding, four-legged companion.

Don’t Come if You or Your Kids are Sick

Please keep your germs and your children’s germs at home. If there’s coughing, sneezing, sweating, a fever—don’t come. “He seemed fine this morning,” won’t fly. Nobody wants a full-on superspreader event.