The Grammys happened Sunday night. Bruno Mars won everything, Jay-Z won nothing and Rihanna made everyone pregnant. Basically, business as usual. Except it wasnโt. Because Katie Holmesโwho is one half of Hollywoodโs second-most โI guess they really are together, huh?โ couple (Laura Dern and Baron Davis are the standard-bearers there)โcame out to present an award with finger waves on her head. And finger waves on Katie Holmesโ head is not business as usual. THIS IS A NEW BUSINESS!
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I am not going to write about cultural appropriation or anything of that sort today because Iโm sure people much smarter and much more serious than I am will do that. Instead, here is a list of people the NEW-BUSINESS FINGER WAVES Katie Holmes looks like now:
The love interest in every Aaron Hall video.
Literally every white woman named Lisa.
The lead singer of an all-white knockoff of Xscape called Ovrsee.
The featured model on a pamphlet for a highly rated nurse practitioner program.
A white woman dating a famous and middle-aged black comedian.
The alpha cast member on Love & Hip Hop: Salt Lake City.
Every girl I had a crush on in seventh grade.
Rachel Dawes if Batman Begins was based in Detroit instead of Gotham.
Someone who has been through some things but is just doing a lot better these days and youโre happy for them because it was rough for a while.
What weโd probably expect Rachel Dolezal to look like if weโd just heard about her and didnโt actually see any pictures of her.
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